"10x10x5" specify meters
I thoroughly enjoyed this! I thought it was a realistic use of ACS and had some pretty cool elements in it. Nice job!
This article suffers from a couple issues that reduce its overall quality. I think the central anomaly is very interesting, and I quite enjoy Remnants articles. The technical writing is well-done, and even though I am not a fan of ACS-content, I think it works well here, and I didn't have any difficulty understanding it. I don't really like the idea of CIS chambers though, it reminds me too much of reality-anchors. For me, the main issue though is that the mystery of the anomaly is not explained in a way that I found satisfying. There's a lot of loose ends that I was left wondering about. Overall though, I still enjoyed reading this article.
As I understood it, this was a Remnants personnel teleporter that broke down when it was transported to our reality, and everyone who came over died. We later find logs suggesting there was a frantic evacuation to escape. We're not told though why everyone died, although I guess it could be inferred from the machine breaking down.
We're also not told what the incoherent English inscriptions are supposed to mean, nor what the tower sigil is supposed to signify. Perhaps it's related to the machine somehow, but the machine is never suggested to be supernatural in that sense. We also learn the dead people have DNA matching known Authority members, but this detail doesn't go anywhere. What information we are given mostly centers around the data logs in the machine's internal storage.
There's a lot of Remnants-lore here, but the logs just felt kind of boring. The article doesn't make us really care for any of these people who are talking. The information they give us is also not very helpful either. For example, I have no idea what these bugs are, or why they're so dangerous. I actually found the EMP monster to be more interesting than the main threat because it ties back into the machine.
That's the problem for me, the logs don't really tell you about the machine in any detail, other than it's how the guys are logging their conversation, which just made me wonder why they're doing that. I did not really like the ending either, specifically the cryptic message about RPC-101, which just fell flat with me. None of the questions I had about the machine were answered, nor was anything more revealed about the Remnants evacuation story.
My suggestion would be to refocus the logs from the evacuation to the teleportation. As a reader, I wanted to find out what happened when they were going through the machine. Perhaps the Authority could find error codes that suggest something broke down inside the machine, maybe temperature readouts since there was evidence of thermal damage. Perhaps the machine broke down on purpose. Maybe the teleporter was sent for the Authority to reverse engineer. Maybe these people were chosen on purpose because their DNA would match people from our reality. For the ending, I think the last log should be related to the purpose of the machine in some way, or the tower sigil/inscriptions. Maybe RPC-101 still fits into this somehow, but I just didn't get it.
Sentient Hazard (?)
I notice a couple articles here and there will have hazards with question-marks next to then. For me though, I would prefer that any hazard listed be confirmed by the Authority. Presumably, in lore the Authority would probably know already what hazards are applicable after a Research Team investigation.
If they're not 100% sure for whatever reason, I think just assuming the anomaly has that associated hazard would be preferable clinically than just having a question-mark next to it.
In the context of this article, I don't really see there being a sentient hazard present here, or at least the article doesn't go into any details about it.
A CIC is designed to keep the interior space at a constant specific coherency level.
I know ACS has become an important part of the site lore, but I'm still not a big fan of it in most instances. The concept of Coherency Isolation Chambers seems very similar to SCP's Scranton Reality-Anchors. I feel like the idea of the Authority having advanced ACS technology storage units just ungrounds them a bit too much from our reality.
Both components are damaged to an unknown degree and have lost four related components, including input interface.
An unknown degree of damage has rendered both components inoperable. Four related components have also been lost, including the input interface.
Each individual component of RPC-549 acts independently, administered by an attached non-anomalous AI.
Each individual component of RPC-549 operates independently, administered by an integrated artificial intelligence.
I would just footnote the AI is non-anomalous.
destroyed/missing/corrupted vital code.
Which one of those is it? Those aren't synonyms lol
Supposedly, RPC-549 would activate if ACS level were to drop under 4, but under unknown circumstances, RPC-549 has set the "normal" ACS value to 3.
Theoretically, RPC-549 should active if the ACS level were to drop below 4, but for unknown reasons RPC-549 has set the "normal" ACS value to 3.
Certain components of RPC-549-2 are damaged.
RPC-549-2 is destroyed.
You could probably combine these.
RPC-549's mechanism exhibits significant inconsistency and assumes to be related to RPC-549-3N. Any abrupt changes to RPC-549's environment are considered lethal.
RPC-549's activation mechanism exhibits significant inconsistency in what it classifies as a threat. For example, any abrupt changes to RPC-549's environment are considered lethal.
I think that the mechanism being administered by RPC-549-3N is already assumed.
power storages
power storage units
interface; however,
Semicolon not needed here
or [DATA EXPUNGED] (See Addendum 549-2)
It's not Data Expunged if the information still exists, it's just Data Redacted
access to said rifts are often impossible.
these rifts are typically impassible.
RPC-549-2 exhibits severe thermal damage, resulting in unstable functionality.
RPC-549-2 displays signs of severe thermal damage, resulting in unable functionality.
lower local
lower the local
estimate
estimated value
RPC-549 exhibits significant vulnerability to physical, thermal, and water damage.
RPC-549 is susceptible to physical, thermal, and water damage.
Effects pertaining to the destruction of RPC-549-1 are unknown; however, it is theorized to cause a localized rift of indeterminate properties.
A localized rift of indeterminate properties may result in the event RPC-549-1 were to be destroyed.
tower, extending
ground, located
Commas not needed
The exterior of the tower exhibited a number of incoherent inscriptions written in English. An engraved unknown sigil was located above the main entrance.
On the exterior of the tower were several incoherent English inscriptions. An unknown sigil was engraved above the main entrance.
Local fauna exhibited a series of mutations, including:
Local fauna displayed a number of mutations, including:
were located within
were discovered within
All instances wore clothing correlating to various military uniforms of unknown manufacturer
All instances wore clothing corresponding to various military uniforms of unknown manufacturer
This sentence is a bit confusing. So is it the material these uniforms are made of, or the groups these uniforms belong to, unknown?
results produced correlation to various Authority-affiliated individuals.
This is a really interesting fact. I would be interested in reading more details about this.
Topological abnormalities; however, remained for a period of six hours.
Might be an unimportant question, but why 6 hours? What would cause the topographical anomalies to not just return to normal instantly?
RPC-549-1's internal server
How was the Authority able to get access to the internal files? Did they discover that the technology interfaces were the same as in our reality?
The only thing that works is the radio and the portal, the thing we're using to log all of this.
Why are they logging their conversation like this?
RPC-549 had an unexpected activation event.
RPC-549 underwent an unexpected activation event.
It is theorized that RPC-549-3N is related to this unexpected behavior.
Well like I said before, I think it's assumed already the AI might have been responsible.
By 19:33, RPC-549-1 was activated, and disappeared.
At 19:33, RPC-549-1 activated and then disappeared.
Based on the following message broadcast by RPC-549-1 prior to activation, it is assumed RPC-549 was transported to its original dimension.