It is alright, I guess?
The article itself is written competently enough to not have any major faults and problems, but there isn’t much good or above average to it either. It’s toys that make you go crazy and violent, and while some of the imagery is neat there seems to be a sort of disagreement whether or not the psychological change makes the kids more or less dangerous? You have descriptions of them trying to stop moving vehicles, running into traffic, poisoning and killing themselves but then you have an entire massacre, some of which are trained operatives from the MST in charge with dealing with this GoI. Honestly, it would have been more believable that that many people have been injured due to trampling and panic rather than a handful of kids that are actively bleeding out.
I don’t think you needed that much space and writing to describe each of the toys. Having them just be superhero archetypes with varied appearances could have done the job and given you time and space on writing about much more relevant and interesting aspects of the anomaly.
I will have to agree with Von’s assessment (from the crit thread) in the end that the strongest part of the article, the way that kids are turned into savage sociopaths, is the least explored. There is an addendum at the end that seems to try to put a quick fix regarding that, but it really doesn’t do much.
It’s an alright try, but honestly it’s an inferior version of RPC-237, the Lich.
