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After a few weeks of work and a few months of stagnation, it's finally done. The Papa-4 file is here.

This article was made in collaboration with both DoubleDenialDoubleDenial and DrPiersonDrPierson. I couldn't have done all of this alone, and they helped me make this possible.

Papa-4 "Big Rig Vedas" by EpicGamer42069EpicGamer42069, 01 Oct 2023 00:37

This is a very creative and original entry- very clean grammar and style. Nothing really sticks out to me when it comes to errors, and the diary really does sound like something a deranged person would write.

I want to say that I think you should explore the anomaly further- like how does the addiction develop, are they sure it isn’t memetic- but I’m worried that would draw out the article and make it weaker. Still, could use more meat to it when it comes to the anomaly’s effects.

5/5 presentation, 4/5 description, overall I’d rate this a five if it was posted right now.


Re: Spin, oh spin by MF_TOMBMF_TOMB, 30 Sep 2023 19:43

With two connected articles, I’ve finished up the Hotel-11 dossier.


Hotel-11 Dossier Page by MF_TOMBMF_TOMB, 30 Sep 2023 19:03

As a fellow circle enthusiast, I too can understand when a hand-drawn circle is mouthwateringly perfect; making this spiraling into lunacy all the more reasonable. Imagine being able to draw everything so perfectly, like scratching an itch you didn't know you had. With that said, I enjoyed the diary and the fact addiction to geometric shapes in itself isn't anomalous.
Diary felt gradual enough and still impactful by the end, don't see a need to change anything here.
Interesting way to use cuckoldry as a battle between worship of perfection and encroaching imperfection.
Tried to write on paper "Ewww.." to see how effective it is to write it down in affected state, n, yea, it has a kick. But only if written in print handwriting.

Also, I was trying to see if "2 weeks, 3 days, 14 hours and 2 minutes" is a coded phi, pi or some other irrational number. Alas….

Didn't spot anything off grammar-wise. But maybe instead of "immensely severe conditions" or it is listed in tandem (in form of footnote) what are possible severe conditions.

Think lowest I'd give it would be a 4.
Don't see anything I'd change. It was simple, short and gets the anomaly message across.

Re: Spin, oh spin by Retro_PaprikaRetro_Paprika, 29 Sep 2023 22:24
theguy9912theguy9912 29 Sep 2023 00:17
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » RPC-237

A very cool and fun piece! I especially liked how this was most likely a product gone wrong in its design which led to how it is and the fact that all the prototypes recovered may potentially have abilities that we don't know of. Earns 5 stars from me because I was entertained all throughout and also because Alpha-Red anomalies aren't something you see every day. Although this is in a site which will 99% never be used again sadly.

by theguy9912theguy9912, 29 Sep 2023 00:17

I appreciate the critique! I'll admit formatting and vocabulary are not my strong suits. And I'll also be honest, I did have ChatGPT critique my work, so I used some of its suggestions in rewording a few sentences.

Regarding the RPC-XXX-1 depictions, i kinda just wanted to throw some mystery as to what happens to the victims trapped inside the mist. But your proposal also would fit as well, I will bear your comments in mind.

And some images were AI generated, but Photoshop was also involved.

I appreciate your time and I will make sure to implement your critique in some way shape or form!

I appreciate the critique! I see what you mean by the RPC-XXX-1 collapsible, slipped my mind while I was working on the other sections. And I see what you meant by the audio logs, also never really noticed that either. I will apply your corrections in the 2nd section to my article as well.

My intention with making the article as direct as possible is because I've seen instances of someone redacting things way too much. So I wanted to put every detail that I could in the article so that the reader wouldn't have to "speculate" if that makes sense.

But alas, your critique will be applied, thank you for your time!

means you need a paragraph break

Presentation 5/5 Great formatting. MOSTLY great use of images- they're AI generated but with SOME of them it's not glaringly obvious and they contribute to the article. Except for the three under "Depictions of RPC-XXX-1". We don't need those and they're distracting, I'd cut them out.
Content 2/5 Kind of awkward. I'm not positive, but with the way it jumps from subject to subject within the same paragraph, it kind of feels like the text is also AI generated sometimes. Are you using a translator?
Comments 3/5 Cut out the "Depictions" section and use more clinical tone in the text. Nice work, but right now this is a 3-star article.

First Impression

This article looks really good. Containment theme was a good choice and matches with the images well. Its organized and I LOVE the format. That's usually a weakness of mine when I write but the way you put this together makes it really easy to read.



Final Thoughts

This is good! Keep working on it, but please keep my comments in mind.


Re: The Missouri Cyclone by MF_TOMBMF_TOMB, 28 Sep 2023 16:02
MF_TOMBMF_TOMB 28 Sep 2023 15:38
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » A Forest That Hates

at first i said "i think this is pretty good for a new author" but i reread that and realized thats super mean and not what i meant at all sorry


by MF_TOMBMF_TOMB, 28 Sep 2023 15:38
MF_TOMBMF_TOMB 28 Sep 2023 15:37
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » A Forest That Hates

I think this is pretty good, but a lot of it is kinda awkwardly written. Example:

Writing emails isn't Ahmed's favorite thing to do. However, his years as not only researcher, but leader would all be for naught, if he hasn't already understood the importance of charisma. Mimicking would be his best bet.
It wasn't the prettiest sight. The email could deliver exactly what he wanted it to in just a couple of sentences, but he knows that it wouldn't get team T-1618 engaged enough to do good work.

You might be going overboard with prose like "would all be for naught." I would move the first paragraph and merge it with the one after the email. Have the email first, then describe how Ahmed feels about it.

Ahmed never liked writing long, dramatic emails, but he's learned from years of experience that there's nothing more effective at getting his team engaged than using words like "daunting" and "vital." Usually imitating/mimicking the weekly announcements from the regional director's office carried the sort of weight that could get people excited for a project. Maybe the RD was using the same strategy.

I wouldn't use what I wrote because I also went overboard (lol) but I think that sounds better at least.


by MF_TOMBMF_TOMB, 28 Sep 2023 15:37
MF_TOMBMF_TOMB 28 Sep 2023 15:25
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » RPC-419

what a quaint article. i love the images


by MF_TOMBMF_TOMB, 28 Sep 2023 15:25
Re: The Missouri Cyclone by AbbefalkonAbbefalkon, 28 Sep 2023 08:11
Re: GRPC Alien Report: Ectypes by MF_TOMBMF_TOMB, 26 Sep 2023 17:54
MF_TOMBMF_TOMB 26 Sep 2023 17:53
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » Ectype Alien Report

A creature that can do anything. Make a machine. And a machine to make the machine. And evil that can run itself a thousand years, no need to tend it.
His feet are light and nimble. He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He dances in light and in shadow and he is a great favorite. He never sleeps, the judge. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die.
- The Evening Redness in the West by Cormac McCarthy

Crit thread:

Thanks to Red and Raggabrash for crit!


by MF_TOMBMF_TOMB, 26 Sep 2023 17:53

This one is very experimental, image is a WIP:

Spin, oh spin by AbbefalkonAbbefalkon, 26 Sep 2023 15:06
AbbefalkonAbbefalkon 26 Sep 2023 13:51
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » RPC-384

Very awkward interpretation of psychology. People tend to be tougher than this, a nightmare is nowhere near enough to "break" a person. Additionally, the storytelling hold the reader's hand too much. There are segments which get their point explained to the reader in a paragraph before the segment itself. Strips the article of intrigue and discovery.


by AbbefalkonAbbefalkon, 26 Sep 2023 13:51


I have a lot of questions that go unanswered.

1. Who/what are Ectypes?
2. How did the Soshi recruit the Ectypes?
3. To what extent have the Ectypes damaged the GRPC and Humanity at large?

The article is also missing a Technology tab. While that might not seem important, the article did mention that Ectypes used to be the significant technological powerhouse on Earth before their betrayal. In all those years, they must have reverse-engineered some powerful alien tools now utilized against the GRPC, not to mention their contacts in the Soshi.

Also, while this is a report, feel free to tell a little story with the format.
The concept is honestly fantastic; utilize that to tell a killer narrative.

AbbefalkonAbbefalkon 25 Sep 2023 12:35
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » RPC-391

Cool idea, executed well. As others have said, having a nuanced opinion about this is difficult.


by AbbefalkonAbbefalkon, 25 Sep 2023 12:35
theguy9912theguy9912 25 Sep 2023 05:10
in discussion Hidden / Per page discussions » RPC-236

This whole article felt more like reading a fanfiction than an RPC document. There are also many things that irked me, such as seeing "transgient" throughout without elaboration on its meaning, interview logs that end abruptly and where the characters talk in a way that makes me cringe, and some drawing hidden at the end for some reason? There is also no hint as to where these beings even come from in the first place? Had to keep forcing myself to read through all of this.

Its also strange that the first thing that is mentioned about the anatomy of the anomaly is about their reproductive systems such as

transigent researchers have described a species of androgynous humanoids, showing no discernible genitalia or mammary glands,

and the first collapsible in the description. I don't think the first thing we need to know about this fetish potentially very dangerous threat to normalcy is how it fucks. Honestly I don't know what I could say to make this RPC better.

I'll give it one thing, its impressive that it was all done with just one hand. 1 star.

by theguy9912theguy9912, 25 Sep 2023 05:10

Thank you so much for the crit. I'm going to make separate biology sections on Thrashers and Ectypes and expand on their background to make it more clear- this has been very helpful.


Re: GRPC Alien Report: Ectypes by MF_TOMBMF_TOMB, 24 Sep 2023 20:59
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