RPC Authority

• "or is potentially exposed to the location's effects" is unnecessary; if a person has gone missing, that's the only exposure to the effects possible at this point in the article
• "When not observed within the next 15 minutes" is awkward, though I recognize the point is "they need to be physically seen, not just digitally located"; idk how to improve it
• "the phenomena may have manifested earlier" under History, should be singular "phenomenon"
• In the first interview, "We've also discovered that Ryuji's mother went missing at the same place as his daughter". "His daughter" is incorrect; it's either "her daughter" or "his sister"
• In observation logs, you use both AM/PM and military time format, i.e. 13:06 PM. Should be one or the other- 13:06 or 1:06 PM
• In Revision 2, "and constantly stare with bloodshot eyes" should be staring
• "We wanna understand" in the first interview seems very informal, should be "we want to".
• "Ryuyji" is spelled wrong once, at the end of the first Interview
• Dr. Takahashi/Takanashi's name is inconsistently spelled

• RPC is described as "an unidentified phenomenon manifesting within" the garden in Revision 1; I've seen this wording in other articles but it's clunky and unnecessary IMO. The anomaly would be better described as the garden itself
• many of whom are usually under 22 years old" is also a bit clunky and doesn't flow well with the preceding sentence in Revision 2; I'd suggest making it a new sentence, "RPC-800-1 are usually under 22 years old".
• There are extra // marks in the Notes of the first Interview log
• There is a // missing from the second Exploration log
• Keigo Ryong is incorrectly referred to as Sergeant in the third interview, as RG found
• "it cannot physically cause harm in the physical plane" is clunky; perhaps "it cannot cause physical harm outside RPC-800-B"
• Another thing many articles do that I dislike is maintain a level of ambiguity/uncertainty from the in-narrative author on obvious connections/identities; by Revision 3, it seems obvious (to me) that the anomaly is Meiji, and why it doesn't target members of the Imperial House.

First thing I noticed is that this section is visually cluttered. Maybe split it into 2 paragraphs to help the reader keep track to where they are.

"Site-15's Light containment area." Either this is unnecessary capitalisation, or this is a prominent location and you need to capitalise the other 2 words.

"to avoid suspicion of containment by RPC-XXX." Suspicion of Containment feels…off. Maybe it's the word suspicion, see if there's a better word or maybe change up the sentence a bit.

"access to content is to be restricted to the one allowed by lead researcher, Dr. Cohen" What do you mean by "the one"? Do you mean media sources like TV or books? If so, make it more clear. Also i feel adding "Dr" to the lead researcher isn't needed, he could just be named "Lead Researcher Cohen"

"To avoid stun in the development of RPC-XXX" by stun, do you mean stunted? A bit of a reword would look like: "To avoid stunted development in RPC-XXX" or "The stunted development of RPC-X"

"is restricted to once two weeks." you mean "Once every 2 weeks"? You could also say "once every fortnight"

"As RPC-XXX can consume everything" Does this mean it can eat inedible material? Or that it can eat regular human meals? Specifying that here would be helpful.

"If it's the case, amnestics class-b must be given to RPC-XXX." First phrase sounds informal, maybe reword it like "If an abnormality is detected…" Also how are the Amnestics to be administered? Guys in biohazard suits hosing it down? Through vents? Bug bomb?

"Any research or experiment is currently denied." Maybe use "experimentation" here instead of just "experiment". Also maybe add "with the RPC" after that.

Solid Containment Protocols, all the critique i can give is technical, nothing narrative changing needs to occur.

"RPC-XXX-B is the sentient corpse of late Dr. Robert Portillo," "of THE late Dr." add "THE"
Also, sentient corpse…sounds weird putting those 2 together. maybe skip mentioning sentience till later on? leave it as just a corpse, unless you mean to say its reanimated…

"When exposed to these enviroments" you probably meant "Environments"

"approximately 15% of the specimens only survived," Having the word "only" here feels wrong. Either replace "approximately" with it, or remove the word.

"to these conditions has evolved thanks to experiments previously conducted by Dr. Portillo." Feels a bit too informal. Maybe try something like: "to these conditions has evolved due to prior experimentation conducted by Dr. Portillo."

"then they were left to reproduce and form a new generation," This sounds informal, specifically "then they were". I'd recommend cutting this part out and sticking it onto the next part like "The newly reproduced instances showed a…"

"In the latest stages of the research" Maybe remove "the" in front of "research"

"certain number of RPC-XXX-A's instances started to compose messages" Using "certain number" sounds off, "A number" may just be enough here.

"probably learned from the facial expressions and messages used by the research team." using "probably" and so many "the" sounds informal. To up clinical tone, maybe try something like "this behaviour was most likely picked up from facial expressions and written messages used by researchers interacting with RPC-X" What i wrote isn't perfect, but its a good start to get your mind in the right space.

"evolution became so finesse that it was developing self-conscious" Whatever you were trying to say here, "Finesse" is NOT the word to use here.

I see that the beginning line for X-B is copy pasted from the first line of the description, same criticism applies here.

"Dr. Portillo supposedly perished on 06/01/2007 at 4:00 pm" "but one day later, during the autopsy of the body, most of the instances of RPC-XXX-A were found throughout the vital organs of the corpse." I feel like this would all be relevant information to put in the discovery section.

"Returned to the research laboratory of RPC-XXX-A in site-15" Needs to be more added here to help with clinical tone: "Both the body and X-A instances were placed in a new containment cell in research laboratory X in Site 15 for observation and re-designation"

"RPC-XXX-B stayed in for approximately one month before was designed" This needs more clinical tone: "RPC-X-B was contained for a further month before it was designated as…"

"During this time, RPC-XXX-B completely healed from its injuries, and one week later after the incident, It could form small syllables." the "one week" bit feels off and I feel there's too many commas being used redundantly. Maybe try something like: During this time, RPC-X-B completely healed from its injuries and began formulating speech. A week after the incident X-B was able to speak short syllables"

"One week before containment", might be good to add in "before current containment protocols"

"RPC-XXX-B still has the basic needs any human needs to survive." Do you mean it requires the basic needs to survive? Or do you mean it has the basic or instinctual needs of self preservation?

"All of the vital functions have been retaken by RPC-XXX-A" Retaken doesn't feel like the right word, but i can't think of a good suggestion for replacement.

"Most of this functions are active thanks to the fact that RPC-XXX-A instances have replaced the nervious system in its entirety." Do you mean "Most of these functions" also "thanks to the fact" feels too informal, try replacing with "due to X-A Instances…" also "nervious" is a typo.

"as a research or experiment hasn't been approved in the last 14 years" To fix it up a bit: "As Research or Experiments has been prohibited

"The exception to this rule is the nervious system" Try not to use phrases like "exception to the rule" or other sayings unless it's a direct quote. Also "Nervious" typo again.

"an avanced x-ray scan was approved to be performed in RPC-XXX-B's brain." First off, "ADVANCED X-ray" secondly, if they were testing for brain function/abnormalities they wouldn't do an X-ray. They would most likely do an MRI. it'd be good if you read up on that so you could get an understanding of how those work/what they do and if they would affect the X-A instances in any way.

"work on the brain" This is a bit informal, but also using the word "work" implies that the X-A instances are doing something to the brain. I know you mention them acting as neurons in the next sentence, but the use of that word implies more, maybe remove it if you don't intend for that interpretation.

"The research team was able to extract some ot these" some OF these.

"Interactions between themselves showed they communicate" To fix the clinical tone, try this "Interactions between these X-A instances showed a complex communication…"

"Through the years, RPC-XXX developed its own personality, being curious, but calm" Lot of unneeded commas here, here's how it could look: "Through the years RPC-XXX developed its own personality, being curious but calm". Also has it ever shown any other emotion? Here would be a good time to mention stuff like that, even if it's only to be shown in an Addendum (you can even do a "see Addendum-X" to link to that too).

This description needs a lot of grammatical and spelling fixes. Not to mention clinical tone, but I see that you are rusty on this so i'm just going to point it out and give my suggestions as I have been. Only narrative things are as I previously mentioned, MRIs might be the way to go instead of X-rays, and any other emotion should be catalogued here (or the lack of other emotions too)

"Norht Carolina," typo on "North".

"circus ringmaster, █████, and put on observation" The ringmaster of X-A instances in his care?

Not a bad Discovery, but could be expanded in some ways. The agents could've asked the ringmaster where he got the roaches for one, circuses travel also so maybe a few more sources could've tipped the Authority off to the roaches too.



"Dr. Portillo had a nervious" Another typo on "nervous"

"Portillo have been directing experiments" Use past tense, "Portillo had been directing experiments"

When Dr. Portillo locked himself in the room, was that procedure for a Containment breach of this manner? How long did it take for any site personnel to notice his actions?

"Security authorities" Its been a while since i've looked but Security Personnel here would maybe be ASF personnel or some group from the Containment division. Adding that in here would help ingratiate this in the world.

"he brought a personal gun" would be better to add some more to this, here's an example: "Documents also stated that Dr Portillo brought a registered firearm to work (add footnote here about how this is his), which was subsequently confiscated by ASF personnel and lead to a reprimand by the Site director." I added a bit more to this but feel free to direct this however you want.

"He ignored the warnings and continue to bring it anyways." If he kept bringing it, that would've been grounds for further, harsher action. If he needs to gain access to a firearm, it's easier for it to happen in the Containment breach, or for the firearm discovery and reprimand to happen on the same day as the breach.

"and mantained some of the site's sections closed" He maintained? That's not the right word here, maybe: "he mandated some sections of the Site to remain closed"

"closed, meanwhile, the corpse of" You can remove the first comma, replace it with a full stop, and begin a new sentence at Meanwhile.

"Dr. Portillo's corpse during the authopsy" typo for "Autopsy"

"and was reassignated as RPC-XXX-B" Reassigned? Or Redesignated?

"the previous assitant of Dr. Robert" Typo for "Assistant", also keep referring to the Doctor as "Portillo", referring to him as "robert" after only using his surname can lead to some confusion.

For this Incident log, you need to work a bit on refining where the gun came from, as it's written right now it feels very questionable as to why he was allowed to bring it in. You also could restructure the personnel factors that lead to this Incident, as they're a bit all over the place. First mentioning the Neverous breakdown, then mentioning the experiments, then the divorce, then the gun, then going back to the nervous breakdown. I understand the importance of mentioning all this, don't remove it, but do restructure it so it flows better.

"presented a complain on" did you mean "complaint"?

"site-15's director of RnD" Some capitalisation is needed: "Site-15's Director of RnD"

"make the most in a research of such as interesting specimen" This line sounds off, maybe try: "make the most in researching such as interesting specimen"

"posture on such delicate creature as this is." Also sounds off, try: "posture on such a delicate creature as this."

"We are talking of a living being" replace "of" with "about"

"and with infinity potential of intelligence" using just "infinity" here is off, try "an infinite"

"impossible to be contained" changing the wording a bit to be like: "impossible to contain"

"That's why we are being extremely careful when meddling with RPC-XXX," Meddling doesn't feel like the right word to use. I don't know what to suggest here, but trying something more clinical would help.

I also feel like using Quotation marks for the entirety of this Addendum isn't needed as we know it's all coming from the one individual, same for how it's presented.

"and his advise must be followed." i think you mean "Advice". Advise is what you do to someone else, "advising" them on the best solution.

Having GD-NORTH's letter here in the middle feels disruptive. It may serve better to have it either appear in an addendum later on, or as an addendum at the end of the containment protocols.

"been proven of stopping RPC-581" This got me to ask a question, Is this RPC an event? Cause if so adding "stopping an RPC-581 instance" Makes sense. If not, stopping feels like the wrong word to use here.

"amnestic overdose to cause retardation is the standard." I don't like the word usage of "to cause". Maybe try something like "To the extent", improves clinical tone.

Not a bad containment protocols, thought maybe defining the RPC with if its either an object or an instance the Authority is containing would help with clearly defining the containment protocols further.

"A dismembered human heart manifesting in the vicinity of individuals" Start off with "RPC-X Is a dismembered…"

"It targets a single person at a time." This needs to be extended, maybe add that the researchers don't know why, or maybe some experimentation or explanation as to why. Further to add, what ar the other properties of the Heart? What if someone doesn't do what it wants? How does it orchestrate these events?

Maybe give a bit more context on Alexander's knowledge on the Authority, was he certified to know what it is?

"You don’t refuse it?" refuse doesn't feel like the right word to use here. Maybe "deny" fits better?

"The bodies longer up still have flesh," use "higher up", longer isn't the right word to use here.



"now ues for abductions" typo here.

"Pyramid of the Sun welcomed the original four brothers" Add a "The" at the beginning of the sentence.

"to Research, Protect and Contain without needlessly reporting to a higher power." Extend "Protect" and "Contain" to "Protection" and "Containment"