RPC Authority

The interior mechanism, however, is comprised of computer and medical equipment.

I struggle to picture how this differs from a regular CAT scanner.

It functions despite having no clear linear functionality or external power source.

Couldn't the scanner provide it with power?

The last recovered document indicates that the researchers had begun dismantling the facility, and were going to destroy the prototype.

The idea that this is a prototype and not finished isn't reflected by the rest of the article. It functions perfectly well.

Very personal take here, but the use of the note/journal at the end to spell out the background of the article feels like a hackneyed and uninteresting approach. Most of these conclusions could be reached by providing a more extensive background of the anomaly, or maybe through special idiosyncrasies in how it works.

after it was safely removed from the wooden door it originally had been installed into

this is unnecessary

The following is also typical remedies used to cure the Bubonic Plague.

too on-the-nose

RPC-391 is connected with a door lock mechanism with a keyhole below it, although this mechanism does not appear to be able to control a door's opening capabilities.

strongly recommend rewording this. I'd offer suggestions, but I'm not quite sure what it's supposed to say. I'd combine it into the first sentence, I think that would make the description flow better.

It has been established that the house in question was built between the years of 1336 and 1339, although the doorknob and lock itself appears to be from between the years of 1890 and 1897.

I get that this is supposed to sound weird, and it does sound weird, but it's a doorknob. those things get replaced.

Upon closer examination of RPC-391, several microscopic copies of the bacterial strain Yersinia pestis were discovered; these strains have been designated RPC-391-1.

are they anomalous bacteria? if not, then they need no designation. I get that they continuously appear on the object, but that's more a property of the doorknob than the bacteria.
edit: nevermind

retroactively flagging ████ past targets as "most likely anomalous,"

Not really recommending you to redact anything if numbers are that crucial to the article (Although tbh they only really amounted to Easter Eggs after I read it)

New analyses of RPC-200 were performed, allowing to discover a significant number of new related phenomena:

allowing the Authority

It is currently believed that its interaction with RPC-200 allowed to perceive a pattern

AND-13-ASIA’s interaction (optional)
allowed it

I’ll have to say that this idea didn’t really live up to its prompt. It is interesting, but I don’t think it captures the idea you’ve brought up — that being the ambiguous nature of the Golden Ratio/Fibonacci sequence.

The first thing would be the presentation of the anomaly, it’s not about the actual pattern itself but the anomalous error in ANDSoft, neither was there much attempt at trying to figure if the pattern is anomalous or not — what the concept sounded would’ve covered.

And perhaps as a result of this, there was no true ambiguity regarding the Golden Ratio/Fibonacci Sequence, the p > 0.0081 probability says as much. Instead of “Maybe it’s anomalous because this, this and that easily debunkable coincidences”, the articles swings between 2 extremes, most of it being that it wasn’t anomalous, and the final collapsible where it is inarguably anomalous beyond any doubt.

This could’ve been helped by tying the patterns to other anomalies, recontextualizing them and give significance to the sequence, which is what I think the 244 reference tried to accomplish, but along with the final update it ended up coming off as the opposite, instead of “these anomalies are tied to the sequence”¹ it became “the sequence is tied to these anomalies”² Instead of being intrigued by the Aurum behind the Deus, I just really wanted to see what’s up with those Items ex Deus at the end.

I brought up the Uzumaki analogy, because this is pretty much what happened in Chapter 1. Someone(ANDSoft V1.1) obsessing over a commonplace pattern (the Golden Ratio/Fibonacci Sequence) that can be easily ruled off as being schizo/paranoid(RPC-200), heavily deteriorating themselves and those around them(the flaws, crashes, and affected performance), and ultimately revealed as something unquestionably supernatural(the end).

Containment Protocols:

RPC-822 is to be contained in a standard safe on Site-015.

RPC-822 is to be contained in a safe locker at Site-015.*

The usage of RPC-822 requires a formal request to the current leading researcher of RPC-822.

Its usage for testing requires direct approval from the current leading researcher of RPC-822.*

Currently, RPC-822 has garnered the interest of the █████ University

Remove the first "currently." Also, wdym by "garnered interest"? I think there are better ways to put it.

due to rising tension within

I think "tensions" would fit better

this collaboration is expected to end soon.

this partnership*

Description:

RPC-822 is a crudely made cardboard-paper sunglass held together by tape.

RPC-822 is a pair of crudely-made cardboard sunglasses held together by tape.*

plastic-like lens

lenses*

recounting that their perception of time has been delayed by seconds.

recounting their perception of time as appearing delayed by several seconds.* (trying to reword because I don't really get what this means)

An abstract invisible entity

comma after abstract

Looking at RPC-822-1 directly for too long will lead subjects to the symptoms of sleep deprivation.

Prolonged observation of RPC-822-1 will lead subjects to develop symptoms of sleep deprivation.*

RPC-822 are dissipated

have dissipated*

phantasia nor

comma after phantasia

Depending on the entity's personality, RPC-822-1 will develop a close bond with subjects, reminiscing of "simpler times".

I don't get what this is supposed to mean. I guess: Depending on the entity's personality, it may develop a close bond with the subject, with the relationship often being described as nostalgic. (?)

Subjects are unable to distinguish reality from RPC-822-1, some display child-like temper tantrums when separated by RPC-822 regardless of their mental age.

Subjects are unable to distinguish RPC-822-1 from real entities. Some also display child-like temper tantrums when removed of RPC-822, regardless of their mental age.*

At its

don't capitalize after an em dash, also, they should be touching the sentence they split off from, no space

this experience and

comma after "experience"

822-B04

It would make more sense if it was 822-1XX (with X being a random letter like 1DV)

CSD-7364 regularly hugs the entity and calls it "Bubby".

I think you still need to explain if those entities are physically real, but can only be seen by using the glasses, or if they are just in "their minds."

Subject portrays the entity as being fatherly, always being there for him.

Subject depicts the entity as a paternal figure, always there for him.*

Described as a white goblin-like

comma after white

my mother

My mother*

I used to be scared of him but looking at him now

I used to be scared of that story, but looking at him now*

A theory by Dr. Murphy states RPC-822-1 is a projection of the wearer’s abstract thoughts given shape by RPC-822's lens —RPC-822-1 is an envoy to the wearer’s subconscious. According to this theory, RPC-822-1 isn’t a tulpa-like entity like many would assume, but an abstract symbol, concept, prototype, and rule given the form of a familiar image (that being, the imaginary friend). Although RPC-822-1 is an illusion, the tangible good it does to its subject is undeniable.

A theory by Dr. Murphy states that RPC-822-1 is but a projection of the wearer's abstract thoughts given form through RPC-822's lenses—RPC-822-1 is an envoy to the wearer’s subconscious mind. Furthermore, it states that RPC-822-1 is not a tulpa-like entity like first assumed, but an abstract symbol, concept, prototype, and rule given the form of a familiar image (that being the imaginary friend). Although no more than an illusion, the tangible good that RPC-822-1 provides to its subjects is undeniable.

nonconscious mind.

unconscious mind*

Addendum 822.1: About RPC-882-2

You should leave an empty line after the bolded title of the new section

RPC-822 is a concrete entity

missed the -2

RPC-822-1 will manifest

I think you meant -2

Unlike most of the other test subjects, I can't get anything out of RPC-822-1. At least that's I thought until she appeared.

Unlike most subjects, I was unable to manifest a -1 instance of my own. At least, that's what I thought until she appeared.*

I've been wearing this thing for about a week then, content with only seeing the shapeless blob in front of me.

I'd been wearing this thing for about a week then*

was freaked out I thought

comma after freaked

is the face of a crying

was the face*

It’s been a long time since anyone mentioned her name.

What? Is he like, quoting the girl? If so, I would change it to

She told me it'd been a long time since anymore called her by name.*

On her, she held another cardboard glass that looks exactly like RPC-822.

I would remove the "on her" and change to: She held another pair of cardboard glasses, ones that looked exactly the same as RPC-822.*

is written in red ink

was*

I asked her if her name is Curry, she got angry (laughs)

I asked if her was name was Curry, and she got angry (laughs).

Y-Yeah I did ask her about Gwansunga aaand she's as oblivious as I am.

Y-Yeah, I did ask her about Gwansunga, aaand she's as oblivious as I am.*

The only thing she knew is that this Gwansunga is the old friend she's been waiting all these years stuck on that lost and found box.

The only thing she knew is that this "Gwansunga" is an old friend she's been waiting all these years, stuck on that lost-and-found box.*

I asked her how old she was, she told me she thinks she is 9 years old but she wasn't very sure. So, I asked her when she was born instead. 23rd February 1981 (laughs) 1979, she's older than me… Jesus, how long did she wait in that box?

I asked how old she was, and she thinks she's around nine-years-old, but wasn't very sure about it. Instead, I asked her when she was born. 23rd of February, 1981. (laughs) 1979, she's older than me… Jesus, how long did she wait in that box?*

Korean adolescent

If she's 8-11, then she's technically a child

RPC-822-2 is highly xenophobic

comma at the end

to befriend RPC-822-2

to befriend them.

Addendum 822.2: Discovery Log

Since this is meant to be written by a kid, you can ignore my grammar nitpicks in this whole section, if you want to. Also, in some part, the translated text looks a bit too small, so that may cause issues with people trying to read them.

school but dont tell anyone.

don't*
comma after school

No one can see her so

comma after her

see Kare so she

comma after Kare

her and she

comma after her

Addendum 822.3: Interview 822-2.11:

despite receiving warnings from █████ University against it.

I'm still confused at what this University is supposed to be

I don’t want to make excuses it’s

comma after excuses

Am I really that bad miss Kare?

Am I really that bad, Miss Kare?

Oh so expensive!

Oh, so expensive!*

was invited to PoI-822’s home

were invited*

Today in Korea, Kare is seen again and loved once more.

Would work best if it was an end-note by Dr. Cabello

Thoughts:*

Amazing article, loved it to bits and kept me hooked till the end. The english-book section was VERY nicely put together, and the drawings were pretty cute.

I don't really have any complains about the article, maybe having some sort of weekly test routine or something so that 822-2 isn't basically left in a locker forever?

All in all, great job.

RPC-711's capabilities have resulted in it being classified as a Class III reality-bender, as they include but are not limited to:

I'm generally not a fan of how RPC-711's properties are being portrayed here. No problem with the properties themselves, but them being described as "reality-bending" (along with an implied system to classify them) opens the door for more articles about reality benders. I understand this to be kind of an unspoken rule — reality benders are generally a bad idea unless very limited in scope.

RPC-711 has as well proven itself to be capable of instantly retrieving missing anomalous objects, even when not provided a description of the object. This has proven to be very helpful with the re-containment of breached objects. However, RPC-711 may only be used for re-containment if it has been confirmed that the breached object will not interact with RPC-711.

I don't think you can really verify that an anomalous item cannot interact with another — there's a good chance a previously-unknown property could just manifest itself. It's also weird that this hasn't been considered a cause for worry and extended monitoring of 711.

"RPC-711 has as well proven to be capable of instantaneously retrieving lost anomalous items, even when not provided a physical description. RPC-711 may only be requested to aid with re-containment if the item in question is unlikely to to interact with RPC-711's properties in an unforeseen manner."

I continue to serve God and to spread his influence.

"Spread his word" seems more accurate with religious lingo.

Allen: I'm, uh… afraid I don't understand what you mean.

I really don't get how he couldn't put two and two together. It's a relatively common thing (maybe more of a cliché) for the extremely mentally ill to talk about God speaking to them or gifting them with knowledge. It's not a far stretch to presume that a reality bender could rationalize its properties as being given by God.

RPC-711: Thank you for your company. I shall see you again… RPC-711 mutters to itself: at least, I hope.

This should merit extended monitoring/mild alert among site staff.

I think this doesn't live up to the potential of the idea that you told me in DMs. The faith aspect seems merely aesthetic in this version rather than integral to 711's character, and most of the conflict is shrouded in implications (the attached documents) rather than explored directly. This means 711's personality ends up feeling somewhat uninteresting: rather than suffering from internal conflict or character flaws, his arc is already resolved by the time the article takes place.

The original summary you told me talked about 711 thinking his own properties as a demonic act, and I frankly think that was more interesting. When you told me that, I pictured a near-uncontrollable anomaly being subdued by the power of 711's own faith, rather than a reality bender with full control over himself and his powers — the angle of the anomalous properties conflicting with 711's faith was what made it a fun concept.

This has… A lot of issues.

The biggest problem is that it is a character-centric article, but the character has no depth or interest to him. There are hints of his background, but it is completely written in implications, hints and vagueness, leaving nothing concrete to build off of. His personality is almost mirrored in this with him talking with a certain absentness and disinterest, which again doesn't work in favor to anything. There is no emotion, no motivation, no interests, nothing.
Regarding the EO side, it's honestly mostly aesthetics. I hoped for something like a reality bender being contained through his own loyalty to the faith, wanting to restrict himself of his own powers and allowing God to act through him through prayer and miracles. I think the use of "bishop" is also incorrect in some way, but I would need to research it more at home.
Lastly, the anomaly is absolutely OP. If it can recover anything it wants, regardless of a lack of description, nothing prevents it from just being used by the Authority to screw over everyone and just tp_all anomalies to him. I don't know whether I missed if there is something that prevents him to do so, but this is how I saw it.

So in a nutshell, the issue with the article is the lack of character presence/development and the aesthetic rather than used choice of Eastern Orthodoxy.
The upside might be that it didn't get nothing majorly wrong with the religion, but there honestly isn't too much to work off to get wrong too much.

Well, there would need to be something more obvious to show off people thinking it is demonic in nature.
Miracles are a thing that happen, but something like teleporting everywhere doesn't really make me go WITCHCRAFT, it would just be more confusing to me, or the very least completely different to religion and sorcery

Research into the folk beliefs of witchcraft and its perception would work greatly.