The most easiest 5 stars I have ever given. Good job, Pierson!
in discussion General Discussion / RPC General » What Group/Agency of Interest do you think deserves more attention and why?
In the RPC Authority mythos, there are many Groups of Interest that explore or create the anomalous with/against the Authority. Many want to befriend the Authority, others want to destroy them, and some want to be neutral.
Out of all the groups, which one do you think deserves more attention and why?
the moc is a nice touch
in discussion Writing & Drafts / Drafts » British Otherworlds; A Summary of the Caliburn Union
They are rage, brutal, without mercy. But you. You will be worse.
in discussion Writing & Drafts / Drafts » A Universal Translator that Translates the Universe
Biology
Technology
FTL Technology
Ships/Vehicles
History
Culture and Psychology
Roles and Ranks
Government / Diplomatic Procedures
in discussion Writing & Drafts / Drafts » RPC-845 "A Polish Cow"
Thank you, I'll fix it right away.
in discussion Writing & Drafts / Drafts » British Otherworlds; A Summary of the Caliburn Union
Do RPC-064 have any connections with British Faeries?
Looks nice, here's a few comments I have for it
1. "Are you absolutely sure about this, doc? I mean, we seen already what happens when anyone gets close to those cows. I don't think I'll change here." I may be interpreting it wrong, but shouldn't it be "it'll change here"
2. "powerful punch toDr. G█████'s jaw" - no spacebar
3. "It grabs and cFfies" - yeah you get it
4. Now for more actual critique - what's the deal with RPC-845-3? I get who he is but his character feels a bit empty, he just appears and that's that. Is he always in the house? Is he a person? This we can *try* to get an answer to unlike with -2
5. The idea that "A raid at the farm was considered but denied" seems weird, you don't even have to add the raid, just that "it's planned" or something, to even try to get an answer (research) on what happened from -3
6. "Following a period of no activity at RPC-845, a team was dispatched to the desolate farm to investigate" what does that mean? Did RPC-845-2 stop appearing when an instance of RPC-845-1 died? Or did they all disappear at once? The wording seems unclear. The later video log implies they got "sold", so the second possibility, but how exactly? Elaborate on this
7. I'm unsure about the alpha-white classification. White implies no chance of lethality, yet -3 is very much lethal, it should stay alpha-yellow
8. "RPC-845-3 fired at the team making them retreat. A raid at the farm was considered but denied. Instance of RPC-845-1 and RPC-845-2 are still missing." I feel like this should be in the video log, also it should say open video log not open video in my opinion. Open video implies there's a video there, not just a log of it.
9. Are they speaking English in Poland? I get with the Authority agents but -2 and -3? I get it's obvious it's a translation but it should be stated the original was in Polish (or Kaszub if you're feeling frisky)
10. -2 can overpower anyone? Now that's interesting, you should mention some of these "Forty-six failed attempts" (which seems like a high number tbh, I'd lower it), maybe not as seperate adenda if you want to keep it short, but even as a note about -2 smashing a guy in some ultra-protective-mega-suit. I'd also add that if one person after being assaulted touches a cow again, -2 gets way more pissed and the assault is more brutal
Generally, pretty cool, love me some Polish RPCs, but a bit "shallow", I find the lack of elaboration on -3 especially wasteful
in discussion Writing & Drafts / Drafts » RPC-845 "A Polish Cow"
http://rpcsandbox.wikidot.com/the-generic-doctor
My first attempt at making an RPC
in discussion Writing & Drafts / Drafts » British Otherworlds; A Summary of the Caliburn Union
The Elves are an Indo-European ethnicity that diverged from the Britons and migrated to the Celtic Otherworlds during the late Bronze Age migration.
and im all about that; that's good stuff
The Elves boast several unique phenotypes as a result of their adaptation
I feel an official document wouldn't say that unless they had clear evidence pointing to the idea they developed something like translucent skin from adaptation alone. I would change this to say that it's believed to be or potentially from adaptation, because my first thought when reading this was, "What if it's from something else?"
Now it could just be Elfish adaptation, but I like to think Monarch wouldn't cross out the idea it could be something more than that.
A prominent distinguishing factor between Elves and baseline humans lies in their cognitive capacities. As a result of their adaptation to a world where one could easily be overloaded with information or left in a perpetual state of confusion, the Elfish people evolved enhanced cognition, sometimes at the cost of basic logical inference.
I would check out the vampires from blindsight by peter watts and how they work b/c its an awful similar in the sense they have more advanced cognition but less "logical inference"… could be good inspo 4 this…
Despite centuries of interaction with the Elves,
I would mention before or immediately after this how this interaction comes about- do humans and elves matrimonially mingle when the worlds metaphysically mingle, or is it that groups move from one world to the other and stay that leads to these sorts of interactions and the elvish lineages you mention later?
numerous enigmas still shroud their essence. Recognised as formidable entities with boundless wells of spirituality, it's understandable why we used to consider them to be demigods among men. We thought them to be immortal, and it was only when we stood side by side with them as equals did we realised they were human too. Albeit, a lot more powerful, terrifying, and beautiful than the average man.
"Formidable entities with boundless wells of spirituality" sounds awfully silly, and doesn't make much sense… I would say "formidable entities who are very spiritual" or "deeply spiritual, formidable entities…" etc. Generally don't use the words "boundless wells" unless you are in fact an elf.
This chiefly includes the Sea of Chaos, an omnipresent fog which consumes everything caught by it with a maelstrom of entropic chaos…
makes me think of the pale from disco elysium (sorry i hate getting my ideas compared to video games too ._. but this seems similar!) besides that i think evil fog is kind of tired as a concept..!! with everything else here being rly subversive and inventive im surprised the fog is kind of straightforward :/ i wont mind if it stays but i just cant imagine someone saying 'the sea of chaos' aloud with a straight face and like i would either play it straight and call it something more dramatic like doom fog (the tolkien maneuver). Or, you could give it a name in one of the otherworldly tongues! Yam Suph, "The Sea of Chaos" (also the tolkien maneuver) so that you can call it something cool instead. By the way, Yam Suph is the sea of reeds but also refers to the wave of death that swept away the army of the pharoah in Exodus.
I'm wondering what the fomorians are doing in there if it's entropic. I think it'd be better to call the fog itself "The Fomorians" instead, in addition to the hundred-headed beasts. Two reasons: One, better name, two, I think this would be more reflective of how mythology comes from the environment. I mean, considering everything else in this world, there probably are giant monsters in there, not much of a stretch to assume that, but I think it would both communicate how MI13 is still alien to this place and doesn't know everything and would make both the fog, the fomorians, and the Annwn more mysterious.
Hear me out: I've been by a big lake on early autumn mornings recently and it looks like a volcano is erupting with the mist that comes out of the water at those times. You just see a whole cloud sort of manifest over the course of about a half hour. More relevantly, when you see the mist that's settled over the water, wisps of it can sort of look humanoid. Reading about monsters in the fog didn't make me think of Stephen King but the sort of ephemeral, faint figures that kind of ominously drift about. I think if the sea of chaos is a sort of slow moving, gentle, but unstoppable and intangible army of ghosts, that would be more interesting.
Anyway I like this one a lot! I've always been a fan of the otherworlds.
in discussion Writing & Drafts / Drafts » British Otherworlds; A Summary of the Caliburn Union
in discussion Site Announcements and Proposals / Proposals » Make an early Archive 2
Its a shitpost
in discussion Writing & Drafts / Drafts » Melanesian cultist and the clay golem