Containment Protocols:

Generally, RPC-XXX is allowed to roam the communal staff facilities of site-002 of its own volition. The exception is between the hours of 10 p.m. and 7 a.m., where RPC-XXX will be placed in a humanoid containment cell, referred to as its dressing room, with adjusted ventilation. Temperature should not go beyond 80 degrees Fahrenheit (26.6 degrees Celsius).

As a tip, try to use vague wording such as "generally", "maybe" and "sometimes" as little as you can. Also, if you are naming an Authority site alongside its numerical designation, you must capitalize it. I would reword this paragraph as:

"RPC-XXX is allowed to roam communal staff facilities at Site-002 on its own volition between 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. Otherwise, RPC-XXX will be placed in a ventilated humanoid containment cell, referred to as its "dressing room." Temperatures inside the cell must not surpass 80°F/26.6°C."

Once to twice per month, RPC-XXX will perform "sold-out shows" that must last between 1 hour and 3 hours.

If the number is less than two digits, write it down fully. I'd reword to: "Bimonthly, RPC-XXX will perform "soul-out shows" lasting between one to three hours."

The charade that RPC-XXX is, in fact, the real Frank Sinatra and that the facility is where it lives and performs must be maintained at all times.

You should try to keep articles as formal and "to the point" as possible. I'd reword the sentence as:

"The pretence that RPC-XXX is the late Frank Sinatra, and Site-002 its living quarters and performance stage, must be maintained at all times."

Description:

RPC-XXX is a wax model sculptor of the late jazz-swing singer Frank Sinatra.

"RPC-XXX is a wax model sculpture of the late jazz-swing singer Frank Albert Sinatra" you should always use a full name if its the first normal time you mention them.

It is fully animated and matches all characteristics of Frank Sinatra on a base level, including height, facial structure, body type, voice (both talking and singing), and even walking patterns. The entity shows no need to sleep, however, chooses to.

After, the first time, you can just refer to them by their last or given name, it's really up to you. I'd shorten this part to: "RPC-XXX is fully animated and an exact physical match of Sinatra, including vocal range, mannerisms, and walking patterns. While not necessitating it, RPC-XXX still chooses to sleep at regular intervals."

Despite the real singer's passing, RPC-XXX believes itself to be Frank Sinatra.

"Despite his late passing, RPC-XXX fully believes itself to be Frank Sinatra." by using a different pronoun, "him", you can still make it clear you're referring to Sinatra while not specifying "singer", as the reader can deduce that due to calling the anomaly an "it."

The entity appears to maintain only a surface-level understanding of Frank Sinatra's personal life. When questioned, it claims the information is "unimportant at the moment" before changing the subject.

"RPC-XXX only holds surface-level knowledge of Sinatra's personal life, changing topics when question by stating their "unimportance" at the given moment."

RPC-XXX will also frequently conjure fictitious assertions of celebrities Frank Sinatra has met in the past, going so far as to construct tales of encounters with modern celebrities who were not born during Frank Sinatra's lifetime. When questioned about these meeting, the entity will reitterate the unimportance of answering.

"RPC-XXX will frequently fabricate fictitious assertions of celebrities Frank Sinatra met during his career, going as far as to construct tales featuring contemporary celebrities born after his passing. RPC-XXX will likewise evade all questioning regarding such inconsistencies."

RPC-XXX is generally sociable with the faculty, conversing with and even offering to sing for others' entertainment. This unprompted offer has been documented as a compulsion of RPC-XXX. If the entity is not permitted or given the opportunity to perform for others, usually every other week, it will enter a dpressive state that will linger until the entity is given the opprotunity to perform.

"RPC-XXX is amicable to Authority staff, conversing and offering to perform for their entertainment. Such behaviour appears to be compulsive. If not allowed to perform for an audience approximately once a week, RPC-XXX will enter a depressive state lasting until an opportunity to perform is provided"

Funny little anomaly idea, I like it

Discovery:

Discovery log

Standard is writing it as Discovery:

RPC-XXX was discovered on 4/14/2015 after being obtained by the Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in Las Vegas, Nevada.

"RPC-XXX was discovered in 04/14/2015 after acquisition by Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA."

After being placed on display, the entity began to roam before finding employees and asking to direct it to the exit as it had a "very important show to get to". LVMPD was contacted, which was then passed on to the RPC authority.

You mostly never say "RPC Authority," just saying "Authority" is good. I'd reword to: "Shortly after display, RPC-XXX began to roam the building, where it then question present staff for directors to the exit, claiming it had a "very import" show to attend. Local authorities were contacted, alerting the Authority"

Upon arrival, RPC-XXX was convinced the agents were his security there to bring him to his show. Deployed agents were told to keep up the charade and bring the entity back to the site-002 facility.

"Upon arrival, RPC-XXX thought the agents to be event security there to bring him to his show. Agents were told to keep up the façade and bring the entity over to Site-002."

Addendums:

Addendum RPC-XXX-1

You should ONLY ever use "-X" to describe additional entities that make up the anomaly, never to enumerate addendums. You can just say "RPC-XXX - Interviews" and group the two collapsibles under this

Dr. Winn: Hello RPC-XXX.

"Hello, RPC-XXX." you should always say a comma before a name/designation when writing things like greetings.

RPC huh now? The name is Frank Sinatra, but I assumed you knew that, so just call me Frank.

"RPC-huh, now? The name's Frank Sinatra, but I assumed you knew that. Just call me Frank.

Alright then…Frank. I have some questions for you.

" Alright then… Frank." always leave a space after an ellipses

*chuckles*

In interview logs, it's usually best practice to describe actions inside brackets, like so:

RPC-XXX: In the flesh. How could you not recognize this handsome mug?

[RPC-XXX chuckles.]

The main issue being that we are reading what is either an audio or video recording, so seeing just a "*chuckles*" feels a bit out of place and informal

Dr. Winn: I…just wanted to be sure.

I think something like "Yes, yes. Just… wanted to make sure." would flow a little better. Makes the researcher seem less… suspicious.

Dr. Winn: I know that for sure now.

comma after sure

You name them; I've met them.

unnecessary semi-colon, just use a comma

Dr. Winn: And what about people you know that aren't celebrities? Do you keep in contact?

RPC-XXX: Well, that's not important at the moment.

I feel you could express the "faking who I am" bit by putting a smidge of uncertainty here, like so:

Dr. Winn: And what about the non-celebrities? Do you still keep in touch with them?

RPC-XXX: Oh, well, uhm… I don't think that's important at the moment.

RPC-XXX: Sure thing. You see, I woke up this morning on some stage. Well, it looked like a stage. but it didn't look like any venue I've seen, although I have certainly performed in some less than usual places. Anyway, I waited for a while, but no one showed up. I figured I must've had the wrong place, so I began to look for someone.

"Sure thing! You see, I woke up this morning on some stage—well, it looked like a stage—, but it didn't look like any venue I've seen. Although I have certainly performed in some less-than-usual places. Anyways, I waited for while, but no one showed up. I figured I must've had the wrong place, so I began to look for someone."

RPC-XXX: Yes sir. It was this man and woman who I walked over to and asked if they could point me towards the exit so I could get to my show. The woman looked a little…startled. I was unsure why, but before I could ask what was wrong, the man said that I must have been an animatronic or something of the sort. He said he would "find someone to put me back properly", but when he turned, I simply put my hand on his shoulder and told him that I am real and want to get to my show.

"Yes, sir. It was this man and woman whom I walked over to and asked if they could point me towards the exist so I could get to my show. The woman look a little… startled. I was unsure why, but before I could ask what was wring, the man said I must've been an "animatronic" or something of the sort. He said he would "find someone to put me back properly," but when he turned, I simply put my hand on his shoulder and told him that I am real, and want to get to my show"

RPC-XXX: Not just that. The man shoved to the floor. They both ran off screaming, and I didn't want to follow them, so I just went back to where I woke up.

"Not just that. The man shoved me to the floor. They both ran off screaming, and I didn't want to follow them. So, I just went back to where I woke up."

Dr. Winn: And that's when your…"security" showed up?

space after the three dots

your way, RP….I mean, frank.

space after the three dots, and capitalize the name (you should do this every time you use a last or given name)

▲ RPC-XXX Second Interview

I would…. suggest sticking to one theme of collapsibles. Having both collapsibles look different can be a bit confusing

Now follow the script and keep the paper below the table; they're bringing him in now.

"Now, follow the script and keep the paper below the table. They're bringing him in now."

Uh…y-yep. That's me.

space after the three dots

CSD-2143: I wanted to say that your show was great…and I really…really enjoyed it.

same thing with all three dots

CSD-2143: That you…uhhh

same thing

RPC-XXX: [looking over to the guards]

Always capitalize things if they're at the beginning of dialogue, even if its between brackets.

if I was a "statue made of wax.".

remove the last period

RPC-XXX: I…That's not…It's…Impossible

"RPC-XXX: I… that's not… it's… impossible."

Dr. Winn: Fuck. Guards get him out of there and back to his cell. I'll deal with CSD-2143.

you mean "I'll deal with CSD-2143 later."?

RPC-XXX No…This isn't right…I am…I am Frank Sinatra. Please listen. I am…I have to be…I have to be Frank Sinatra…I… have to be.

"RPC-XXX: No… this isn't right. I am… I am Frank Sinatra! Please, listen. I am… I have to be… I have to be Frank Sinatra. I… have to be."

Final Thoughts:

It was a fun little article. I wished we could've seen more "oddity" from the wax statue, acting like it's a parody of itself, like quoting lyrics from "his" songs, or mentioning random celebrities and encounters he had with them like it's a family guy sketch ("Slow down, paisan. You're sweating somethin' fierce right there. Almost as bad as when me and DeVito went to the sauna down in Brooklyn."/"Oh, normal acquaintances? Well, uhm… I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention.") I guess I'm trying to say that, besides the last bit, it really did just feel like it was Sinatra just talking, besides the hand stabbing. Nice first draft thou!

The rest followed suit threw the orbs at every possible barrier to protest against the audial disruption. The bundle never left their containment, but attacked any personnel who entered their containment zone.

The rest followed suit and threw the orbs at every possible barrier to protest against the audial disruption. The bundle never left its containment but attacked any personnel entering it.

The entities eased down once the sounds, but the damages were too severe. The bundle was tranquilized and brought off-site until their containment was repaired.

The entities eased down once the sounds were heard, but the damages inflicted were severe. The bundle was tranquilized and brought off-site until its containment chamber was repaired.

At first, the entities were frightened, but the subject began purring around them which soothed them. The two species got along until the subject got hungry. It was terminated by steel orbs soon after.

At first, the entities were frightened, but the subject began purring around them, which soothed them. The two species got along until the subject got hungry. Soon after, it was terminated by steel orbs.

One of the entities got too close to the subject and was terminated in a single kick. The other members of the bundle threw steel orbs at the subject: however it swiftly avoided all of them and terminated 4 more entities before getting hit.

The other bundle members threw steel orbs at the subject; however, it swiftly avoided them and terminated four more entities before getting hit.

I believe you focused on the wrong part of the anomaly with this draft. In order to explain, I’ve tried to break down the core characteristics of RPC-XXX:

1. It has very hot palms.
2. It has access to a pocket dimension with quirks.
3. It can be very dangerous.
4. It is contained by the RPC Authority.
5. It is an animal.

The article’s addendums make use primarily of traits 3 and 4, with 2 being an accessory for these. The hot palms bit is basically forgotten, and the animal part severely underutilized.

The problem is that traits 3 and 4 are characteristics that are too general too focus on. Any RPC with an ability for violence can cause damage if out of containment. Why would I care that this one can, too? Some RPC’s breach of containment can make an interesting read if the outbreak and its results are unique and interesting, not just “it caused damage and death”. You do manage to do this with the CSD integrating with the bundle bit, but all other incidents contain, from a story-writing perspective, nothing.

By reading this, you can understand that I want you to utilize the other traits more. So instead of beating on what I believe you did wrong, I’ll point in a couple directions I find interesting, and you can decide if they’re worth going in.

The fact that these anomalies are animals means that there is an environment they are meant to be in. The Authority did drag them out of that environment, but there still exist some in their natural habitat. You can explore how these marsupials live day to day in their natural habitat, and juxtapose it with them in captivity. This might sound boring to some, but remember that they have burning hot palms and a pocket dimension. Their natural behavior obviously has to depend on these traits.

On the topic, how does the pocket dimension work? Is it just a storage, where only what's put in can be taken out? If so, where did all the steel orbs come from? This is especially curious as steel is not a naturally forming material. The instances must have acquired them someway. Maybe they learned to make them? Considering their palms, would it be far fetched to assume they could play the role of welders and metalworkers? If so, how was this knowledge acquired? Is it learned, or evolutionary developed? Even if the pocket dimension doesn't work as a storage system, but instead a producer of the things one can take out, how did the anomaly learn about steel? Why doesn't it just produce its own food? Maybe the pocket dimension is shared across all instances. Maybe it isn't. Does using it come with a cost? Or is it the same as walking or breathing for them? There are questions aplenty you could explore and maybe answer in order to shift the meat of the article to something interesting.

The testing logs are the parts of the article that use trait 2 and 5. However, they are short and undeveloped, and don't actually explore the traits further than repeating the description.

Enrichment may be provided if their stress levels reach 75% capacity

How does one measure the stress capacity? It needs to be if you're adding a precise unit for taking action. I'd suggest replacing the stress capacity thing with normal observation for signs of stress.

Personnel should only physically interact with the entities (especially the alpha) with direct permission from the research director.

Awkward sentence. I'd suggest: "Physical contact with RPC-XXX requires permission from the research director:"

may result in employment termination.

I'd suggest: "may result in termination of employment."

Kettle: I called them: "Kettle's Purple-palmed Wallaby."

Williams: A bit egotistical, huh?

Kettle: Look, the rest of my crew said it was a terrific name so do not attack me on the naming.

This bit of dialogue feels particularly awkward. Williams' instant comment on the name and Kettle's over defensiveness feel off putting.

CSD-7612 would confiscate Agent Jefferson's

"Confiscate" refers to an formal authority removing a prohibited item from someone. It doesn't work here. Try "steal" or "arm himself with".

I like it. Exciting and mysterious. Not much else to say, really, except that most of my gripes I put under the "writing" section. One nitpick: The hate speech feels a bit too derivative of I have no mouth and I must scream.

but I see more things than any one of you will ever witness in your entire life

"but I witness more than any of you ever will"

The men who created me has

either men or has is in the wrong plural or singular form.

establish the peace.

Remove the "the"

like a rabies virus that propagated across the city like a fire, then the rest of the world

Two "like"s makes it repetitious. "like a rabies pandemic propagating through the city, similar to a wildfire, then towards the rest of the world".

preferable standard.

standard of what? Are neuro-link attacks common enough to warrant a standard?

still active machineries inside,

machinery

ain’t go no soul.”

got

It could barely stand up, if not for the added metal cables, running at Johnny with the grace of a rotting fox.

Dangling modifier. Reads like the metal cables are running.

It is statistic.

Something feels wrong here. Is his defeat a statistic? Is it statistically certain he will be defeated? If so, the grammar is incorrect.

Johnny’s looked around himself, looking upwards

"Johnny looked around himself, the upwards"

trigger finger did not hesitated one

hesitate

The quarters closing called

"The closing quarters called"

Johnny closed his eyes for a second, as blood splattered on the walls, the floor, the ceiling, on Johnny himself

"Johnny closed his eyes for a second, as blood splattered on the walls, the floor, the ceiling, on Johnny himself "

his arm had been severed off by his own will, then replaced with a twisted, black blade; it cut

"his arm had been intentionally severed, and replaced with a twisted, black blade"

so much blood that it replaced the one he had been losing.

"so much blood that it replaced what was lost"

and Johnny realise what

realised

what it was that it was when he stared down the eyes of one.

"what it was was after staring in the eyes of one"

the entire place was shutdown

shut down

I still Doctor Grimm’s credentials

missing a "have"

Wilco, thanks.

Do you mean "will do"?

nobody is blind to the fact the last three decades

"nobody is blind to the fact that in the last three decades"

powerful thing we posses:

possess

populace in everyday life - rich people everyday life no less,

"populace in everyday life - rich people's everyday life no less,"

felt a deep burden on his chest, as his heart felt like sinking

"felt a deep burden placed on his chest. As his heart sank:"

he balled his fists

I've never heard "balled" used as opposed to clenched

The view on the town

of

with as much life as a corpse,

"as alive as corpses"

where did all the strategist talk go?

Unsure what this is supposed to mean. Do you mean "strategic"?

the skin on his face dirty

of

The Doctor’s lips quivered for a second, before he would immediately turn around to grab a desktop and launch it towards the Agent.

"The Doctor's lips quivered, before he immediately turned around, grabbed a desktop and launched it towards the Agent."

I will not stand trail for

trial

these one’s true mechanical optics

this one's

Johnny felt the cold, mechanical and fleshy hands of the abominations tying him down,

Were they actually tying him down with rope? Otherwise, I think "holding" or "forcing" would work better.

felt that sam stinging

same

They have Grimm. those monsters t

Those

I think they’re going at the bottom floor

to the bottom floor

He hold onto the rails harder

held

would have never work had

worked

Isn’t that a failure in of itself?

In and of itself is more correct, however both are used.

For a moment, earth stood still

the earth

Do you seriously believe that erasing humanity is the only possible outcome for global peace, when you yourself were designed to work with humans.

This is a question. There should be a question-mark

perhaps of those came and

"perhaps of those who came and"

It worked on the short term

in the short term

as the noises reached levels of decibels so high

as the noises reached levels of decibels so high

One rat lay of light

??? Do you mean "ray of light"?

followed by an explosion crushed everything in its path: matter itself was vaporised

"followed by an explosion that consumed everything in its radius: matter itself was vaporised"
Explosions don't really crush things. I think "consumed" works because of the "vaporised" after.

The man coated in black placed his hand on the man’s shoulder.

This sentence uses man twice, referring to different people. Replace the second one with something else.

window of the small, monitoring room

remove the comma

His sacrifices tied up most looses ends,

loose

“By the Authority I oath to live for, the truth I will die for…” He recited turning around towards the Inquisitor. He held on his hand a sword oozing in a bright red light; the Inquisitor’s mask converted his voice into a metallic, lifeless whisper.
“… And the peace I promise to serve, Amen.” He concluded, before severing the man’s head from his neck.

It is confusing to figure out who's doing the reciting where. "He recited turning around towards the Inquisitor" makes it sound like Jensen is. "He concluded, before severing the man's head from his neck" makes it sound like the Inquisitor is. Are both reciting different parts? If they are, using "he recited" and "he concluded" makes it sound like the same person is reciting both. Try using a name instead of a pronoun.

I, personally, feel that simple concepts can't do well on their own, anymore. They need something more; an implication, a backstory, an influence. What I mean is: the entire article, all parts of it, are totally reliant on the effects of the cat. This would be ok if the effects had more substance to them. As it stands, they don't. For example:

Testing logs, I believe, need to justify their existence by contributing more than the anomaly in practice and a tid bit of new information that could just as well have been included in the description. They can, for example, demonstrate the researchers' train of thought. They could be a place to make the reader think, a place to hide things between the lines. That isn't done here. In essence, all which the test logs do is replay the description and tell you that pictures and hairs are a no go, while that's something the description should.

The discovery log does a bit of the same. in the article I feel that it does the same thing as the testing logs, but on a larger scale. Instead of focusing on the discovery of the anomaly and how the Authority figured out the abilities and finally contained it, all the reader gets is a demonstration of the cat's true destructive force. Which is something I believe they could've figured out on their own.

If you want to add creative and exciting death scenes, you can do that. However I don't believe that gore and violence on their own are themes interesting enough to not include any other substance.

I can't tell what your motivation behind writing this article is. You might just have found the idea cool, or just want to write intriguing death scenes. Either way, you should still elevate the article and support the core idea with an actual story.

visual contact with RPC-788 have been deemed unnecessary as of 30/07/2019. Visual surveillance within OL-Site-788 has also been deemed unnecessary

Repetitious. I'd suggest using a synonym.

reflective surfaces (such as lenses, monitors, and water bottles)

The reader can figure out what a reflective surface is. Either remove the examples, or put them in a footnote.

Protocol-788 (available on the attached document below).

The clarification on the location of Protocol-788 is not needed.

The scale and lethality of these events scale

I'd suggest replacing "these events" with RPC-788-1. On the topic, the term RPC-788-1 is only used four times in the article. One of those times being its introduction.

Efforts are still in progress to successfully delete all existing footage/visual media of RPC-788.

I'd suggest: Efforts to delete all visual media portraying RPC-788 are in progress.

-Signed by the Anomaly Experimentation Team committee.

Looking under the research tab, there isn't one specific AET, but many all bearing jurisdiction over different anomalies. I'd appreciate a designation for which one this is. That's more of a nitpick, however.