The reign of ██████ the Great, the 17th day of the month of April, 174█

Duke █████ has provided us shelter, I'm not sure what he'll want from us in return. I'm guessing he will attempt to put us in his debt for the rest of our lives. All this feudal nonsense has run us out of house and home and now we're stuck here.

One day we are going about as usual, and the next the knights evict us for not paying the "Growing Corn" Fee. All I want is to study my alchemy in peace, is that so much to ask for?

Still, whatever he wants is better than being out in the storms. It's been raining continuously for about 3 days now.

I just hope it doesn't interfere with my work.

The reign of ██████ the Great, the 23rd day of the month of April, 174█

Well, he asked, and of course, it was that. What else would he want? And there goes any hope of practicing productive alchemy for the foreseeable future.

Gold. He wants me to make gold. Instead of making actual progress, I will now be doing the fool's errand of trying to make gold. And then he says if I can't do it, he'll imprison me and my whole family.

The scoundrel actually thinks you can make gold from lead. And now I have to move Heaven and Earth to do it.

I haven't told them, I think I'll keep my pride for now.

Work on it starts tomorrow, how wonderful. Damn nobles.

The reign of ██████ the Great, the 9th day of the month of June, 174█

No progress. At all.

From day one, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

I've told my family I'm just working the fields, I don't think I could take it if they knew what I was trying to do.

I used to love the sounds of clinking glass, pouring liquid, and the crackling fire. Now it's all just a banshee's scream to me.

The Damned Duke, as I like to call him, has been pressuring me even more recently. I don't know how much longer he'll let us stay.

I need a miracle.

The reign of ██████ the Great, the 11th day of the month of June, 174█

No progress, again.

But I did find a curious book on my desk today. It doesn't have a title or anything on the cover. I gave it a glance, and it described things that are far beyond anything I've ever seen.

I hope it isn't some kind of practical joke, either way, it'll be an interesting read.

The reign of ██████ the Great, the 12th day of the month of June, 174█

I found something interesting in the book, in a diagram it combines all of these peculiar devices together, and it appears that when combined, they produce gold.

I told the Damned Duke about it, and he says he wants to build it. Idiot, he actually believes that it will work!

I've never read a more preposterous book in my life, but if it satisfies the man and keeps us indoors a little longer, I'll play into his delusions.

The reign of ██████ the Great, the 3rd day of the month of July, 174█

I knew it, I knew that book was trouble!

It makes no sense whatsoever, the book doesn't even tell the whole process, it just stops halfway through, like whoever wrote it decided to just stop.

I could be practicing anything else, yet I'm forced to be here reading the book over and over, how worthless does the Duke think I am?

The reign of ██████ the Great, the 29th day of the month of July, 174█

Here I am, reading the book when I start realizing that there was new text. It certainly wasn't there before, I've been reading it back to front for almost a month now.

So I read it, and it talks about an entirely new ingredient, souls.

Now a book I've been reading for months suddenly having text about using souls to make gold? That just doesn't happen.

I gave the book back to the Damned Duke, and I told him I didn't want it anymore. When he asked why I just said it was a dead end, and that was that.

But now I have to find a new way to make gold, and I'm not sure if there even is one at this point.

The reign of ██████ the Great, the 30th day of the month of July, 174█

I should've just burned up that book, why did I give it to him? I didn't even know he could read! He read it and now he's sent someone to get people from one of the king's prisons.

I don't want to kill someone.

I didn't want this to happen.

I can't stay, knowing what I'll have to do.

I can't run, where will we go? What would I tell them?

This isn't the miracle I wanted.

The reign of ██████ the Great, the 3rd day of the month of August, 174█

I smiled at my family this morning, knowing what I'd have to do today.

I watched the prisoners get walked inside, and I did what I did today.

I came home and smiled at my family again, knowing what I did.

I sat down and am now writing this.

I'm worthless.

The reign of ██████ the Great, the 13th day of the Month of September, 174█

I haven't written in this book in quite some time.

I'm not well. I could lie, and say I'm fine, but I'm not, I'm so tired of lying.

Even though I know what I'm doing is wrong, I'm still making theories about it.

Like how the more important the person is, the more gold is produced, criminals produce less than commoners and commoners are less than nobles.

Even in this hellhole, your social status impacts how much you're worth.

I'm having another child, this is all for them.

The reign of ██████ the Great, the 18th day of the month of September, 174█

how is worth defined is worth defined by the people or is worth people I must know how much are my family worth how much am I worth how would you define that please I must know please tell me is it defined by everyone or is it defined by the upper class why is it defined by anyone is worth defined by rarity please I must know someone anyone please tell me why am I so worthless why is everything so worthless please tell me I'm worth something please tell me everything has been worth it the pain the suffering is worth defined by pain and suffering or is pain and suffering also defined by worth which is defined by why oh god please tell me what I'm worth the tiniest fraction of something I feel so worthless I feel like everything is worthless I feel like my family are worthless I must know true worth I must I must I must please tell me or I will find out for myself what worth is oh god why am I thinking like this is worth defined by gold is gold worth how much are my family worth how many lives have I taken how much are they worth well I already know because I saw how much they were worth only a few ounces of gold oh god why is that what worth is why is that what it all comes down to why

I feel ill

The reign of the great truth, the 1st day of the month of worth, 174█

Oh god, I did something horrible why would I do that.

To see their worth.

Why would I want that?

To find true worth.

It doesn't matter, nothing matters, nothing is worth anything anymore.

How much are you worth.

I'm not worth anything.

Everything is worth something.

Not me, I am worth nothing.

You will never know till you put yourself inside the machine as you did with the inmates, those nobles, and your family.

Worth, I must know worth what it is defined by who defines it I will find worth in death please someone tells me before I do it again.

The machine will tell you.

Yes, of course, the machine the machine knows worth the machine can define worth the machine can define me my worth is in gold all worth is in gold.