RPC-303 prior to containment.

Registered Phenomena Code: 303

Object Class: Alpha-Yellow

Hazard Types: Mechanical Hazard, Ideological Hazard, Emotional Hazard, Sensory Hazard


RPC-303 's title screen.

Containment Protocols: RPC-303 is to be contained within 2-meter by 1 meter by 1-meter glass hermetically sealed case at Site-002. However, RPC-303's glass case is to have an isolated power outlet to allow RPC-303 to be constantly plugged in. All instances of RPC-303-1 are to be kept alive, as they can be recovered from this state with enough psychological care. If an instance of RPC-303-1 breaches containment, they are to be sedated immediately and be administered psychoactive drugs. In the event that an RPC-303-1 instance becomes hostile to personnel, the instance is to be immediately neutralized. If psychological care is rejected by an instance of RPC-303-1, they must be neutralized on sight to prevent the manifestation of RPC-303-2.

Description: RPC-303 is an arcade cabinet manufactured in 1981. No manufacturer is known, but due to the data of RPC-303, it is theorized to be manufactured in the German Democratic Republic1 or the Sudetenland region of the Czechoslovak Socialist Republic. RPC-303 does not require any currency to operate, despite the presence of coin slots. RPC-303's circuit board is near identical to one of a standard arcade circuit board at the time, with the exception of an additional processor labelled Memetische Kontrolle.2

RPC-303's anomalous properties manifest when approached by an individual. RPC-303 will automatically power itself on and display the "Title screen." RPC-303's title screen acts as a Cognito-hazard, enticing individuals to play RPC-303. RPC-303's title screen consists of 3 elements. The title, which appears to be Das Leutespiel3, the number 1981, and a pixelized rendition of the seal of the German Democratic Republic. RPC-303 appears to play like Konami's [REDACTED], despite being manufactured 6 years prior to its release. Much like [REDACTED], it is a side-scrolling shooter featuring power-ups. Upon playing RPC-303 for 5 minutes, the subject will experience slight paranoia, which will amplify if the following languages are spoken in the subject's vicinity: English, French, The European Dialect of Spanish, Danish, Dutch, Portuguese, Norwegian, Swedish, and Italian. Upon playing RPC-303 for 15 minutes, the subject is to be considered an instance of RPC-303-1.

RPC-303-1 instances have symptoms matching those of schizophrenia. RPC-303-1's instances will suffer sleep deprivation, extreme paranoia, and muscle spasms. Instances of RPC-303-1 will often report seeing a bloodied version of former West German chancellor, Konrad Adenauer, in the corner of their vision. On some occasions, RPC-303-1 instances will report this manifestation to be in possession of weapons, most commonly a combat knife and a rifle matching the description of a Heckler and Koch G3 battle rifle. In rare instances, another manifestation has been reported. This manifestation appears to be former Soviet premier Josef Stalin, who will appear to engage the other manifestation in combat. The manifestation of Josef Stalin will always win the combat engagement if it has manifested. Upon being cured from the symptoms of RPC-303-1, the subject will possess a strong desire to destroy RPC-303.

As of 22/6/2004, it has been discovered that should an instance of RPC-303-1 avoid psychological treatment and be prevented from suicide attempts over the course of one month, The instance will become RPC-303-2. From this point, all attempts at psychological recovery are impossible. Instances of RPC-303-2 believe they are Offizier Hans4, and are extremely hostile to all individuals who are not from a former Warsaw Pact nation. Within 5 minutes of becoming an instance of RPC-303-2, an Nationale Volksarmee5 uniform, as well as an Izhmash AKM assault rifle, will manifest near the instance of RPC-303-2. From this point onward, The instance of RPC-303-2 will shoot every individual who is not from a former Warsaw Pact nation on sight. Instances of RPC-303-2 never appear to miss with this manifested rifle, firing lethal shots with 24 of the AKM's 30 round magazine in the one observed instance. Upon running out of ammunition with the manifested rifle, the instance of RPC-303-2 will immediately neutralize itself via unknown means. This is suspected to a mirror a behavior found within RPC-303, where if the subject does not conserve ammunition, Offizier Hans will commit suicide via jumping off screen.

Discovery: RPC-303 was discovered on 25/2/2003 in Portland, Oregon. However, it had been owned since an unknown date in December 2002, When then college student from Denmark, Matias Kristiansen, had purchased the cabinet for a school project. On 12/1/2003, Kristiansen had data-mined the machine, only to notice strange files within the game's ROM. Most of these files appeared to be dark grey text with phrases such as "Gehorche dem Staat".6 Kristiansen's roommate, a man named Erich ██████, proceeded to play RPC-303 for a period of 2 hours. after completion of RPC-303, ██████ had been experiencing many symptoms of schizophrenia, as documented by Kristiansen. on 24/2/2003, ██████ had committed suicide via blunt force trauma just outside of Kristiansen's rented residence. Before an investigation by the police could be conducted, Authority agents operating within the Portland police department had launched an investigation inside of Kristiansen's residence. RPC-303 was discovered next to Kristiansen's research on RPC-303. Due to the amount of detail in Kristiansen's research, RPC-303 was not recovered until he had returned to his residence. Kristiansen was hired and given Level-2 security clearance. RPC-303, Kristiansen's documents, and Kristiansen's hard drive were then sent to Site-002, While Researcher Kristiansen was given an office within Site-002.

Addendum - Kristiansen's Research:

Foreword: The following is Kristiansen's journal, recovered from his residence. The language is unaltered, leaving some informalities within the text. The text has not been translated, as Kristiansen wrote the text in English.


I've made a table of what I found upon my datamine. Some interesting shit.

File Name File Type (Upon Conversion) Description
auferstandenausruinen .mid The East German national anthem. Weirdly off pitch, and when I ran it through a spectrogram, I saw some text. Oddly in Danish, My native language. Maybe it changes. Erich said it was German.
hans .jpg The sprite sheet for the protagonist, I presume. Nothing really odd or out of place here, but this detail was quite impressive for 1981. These devs knew what they were doing.
gehorchedemstaat .jpg Dark grey text. Erich said it translated to obey the state or something. I don't speak a lick of German, but that seems accurate for a propaganda piece, so i believe him.
dasleutespieltitelbildschirm .jpg The title screen. Very barebones, but I want to play this for some reason. I don't even know why.
derwestenistböse .mp3 Now this one strikes me. An .mp3 in 1981? quite odd. The voice on it sounds crystal clear too. No digitization. Erich says this one means the west is evil.
monika .jpg A small sprite sheet with a female character. Probably the portagonist's girlfriend, judging by games at the time.
konradadenauer .jpg A heavily modified photo of some important German fellow. I looked him up and he was the chancellor of West Germany at one point. The quality is again staggering, and the image is unnerving.
rpg7 .jpg A single sprite. Probably a rocket launcher power-up within the game. looks advanced for 1981, again. Oddly enticing to look at too.
spielistaus .gif Looks like an American soldier throwing the protagonist into a pit of lava. The game over animation it looks like.
memetischekontrollespeisekarte7 .txt A lengthy file. Again, oddly in Danish. It reads along the lines of "For government eyes only, this is the player database" with a bunch of names. Maybe this machine has cameras inside of it, who knows.


Erich hasn't been doing too good lately. He seems off ever sense he's played that game. He's claimed to have seen things, hear voices, I think it gave him schizophrenia. God, that game sure must drive home the point then. I think I heard a rumor about something similar 3 years back. Something called "Polybius." If this is what that legend is based off of, I guess I am lucky.


Erich's new condition got to him. He's gone. Part of me thinks that this is my fault, but then again, I didn't force him to play. I was at the pawnshop asking about the game when I saw weird people at my house, as it wasn't too far away. That's when I thought I have to get going. They're obviously not police nor robbers. When I got there, They drew guns at me and tried to show me weird symbols. I then set this down next to the cabinet. The leader read my entries and called it an "RPC", whatever that means. Then, he looked at me and said I was hired. Currently, I am on some truck heading to a base in Nevada. Hope it pays good.

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