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RPC-315-A prior to containment.
Registered Phenomena Code: 315
Object Class: Gamma-Red
Hazard Types: Aggression Hazard, Organic Hazard, Sapient Hazard, Immeasurable Hazard
Containment Protocols: As of 14/03/██, RPC-315-A is currently contained in a Standard Humanoid Containment cell with walls made of solid oak wood coated in flame retardant chemicals. RPC-315-A's containment cell is to be guarded by no less than two armed ASF operatives with a recorded reaction speed of at least 0.15 seconds. Guards must be rotated out between every instance of interaction between them and RPC-315-A.
RPC-315-B is to be kept in an anomalous item storage vault at Research Site-021, which is currently located in Germany. Should RPC-315-A attempt to breach containment, active personnel on Site-███ are to initiate a controlled electric shock to RPC-315-B. If that is not sufficient enough to deter RPC-315-A, personnel are to activate the hydraulic press placed inside RPC-315-B's containment vault.
If in the event that RPC-315-A breaches containment, transportation of RPC-315-B is to be carried out towards the emergency containment vault based approximately 4 km below Research Site-███ and ASF Rapid Response Team "Wish Watchers" are to be sent in pursuit to re-contain RPC-315-A.
Description: RPC-315 is made up of two distinct anomalous objects, of which are consecutively designated as RPC-315-A and RPC-315-B.
RPC-315-A is a humanoid entity measuring approximately 0.9 meters in height. Its head is larger in comparison to its small body, and some of its facial features such as the nose and ears, are also not proportional. RPC-315-A is dressed in apparel typical of 1830s Ireland, consisting of a military coat and an abnormally large hat. RPC-315-A largely speaks in a language similar to Old-Gaelic, but has shown to understand and speak English, albeit with a heavy accent.
RPC-315-A has displayed reality-warping capabilities and is extremely hostile. It has so far been able to completely breach containment with relative ease, mainly through becoming intangible and bypassing surfaces. Some materials are able to slow the process, primarily solid oak wood. This material is only marginally effective however, slowing the process by only 10%. If any source of danger is directed towards RPC-315-A, they can become intangible again, avoiding it. There appears to be a refractory period between each instance of intangibility, consisting of a 0.2 second pause in which RPC-315-A cannot manifest this property again.
RPC-315-A has a mischievous and child-like demeanor and will often attempt to play "pranks" on Authority personnel. These pranks comprise a slew of reality-altering events that generally cause harm to the individuals involved. Recorded pranks include the following:
- Turning an individuals body inside-out
- Condensing an individual into spheres ranging from 3 cm in diameter to 6 cm in diameter
- Raising an individual's internal temperature to approximately 300 degrees Celsius
- Filling an individuals stomach cavity with pyrite
These pranks, while affecting reality to a degree, last for approximately half a second, and possess a limited area of effect around RPC-315-A itself.
RPC-315-A is also capable of granting wishes, and unlike the aforementioned pranks, the duration these wishes last is slightly longer, as evidenced by the incident regarding CSD-9946 (See Addendum.)
RPC-315-B is a spherical pot made of copper, iron, and traces of an unknown metal. RPC-315-B is filled with various objects made out of 24 karat gold with no impurities that have been so far identified.
The contents of RPC-315-B consists of: 64% gold coins inscribed with Celtic symbols; 21% gold and silver goblets; 10% gold nuggets; 4% various jewelry adorned with emerald and ruby gemstones; 1% human teeth. Regardless of how many objects are removed from the pot, the mass of the pot and its contents does not change, and remains at 68 kg. All items, excluding the human teeth, will transmute into pyrite matching said mass upon exceeding a distance of 12 meters from RPC-315-B. Using the gold for any transactional purpose without the express permission of RPC-315-A results in said gold transmuting into pyrite, colloquially known as "Fool's Gold".
Should RPC-315-B suffer any damage, such as a blunt strike, the damage will reflect upon RPC-315-A. There appears to be no delay between each individual event. Based on the interviews conducted with RPC-315-A and the subsequent acquisition of RPC-315-B, it is to be assumed that RPC-315-A draws its abilities from the possession of RPC-315-B. When without RPC-315-B, RPC-315-A is unable to utilize the vast majority of its anomalous properties, while wishes appear to be its only method of exhibiting any external influence without RPC-315-B.
Discovery: RPC-315-A was discovered in the ███████ Forest near the village of ████████, Ireland when there were reports of an anomalous entity wreaking havoc. Twenty civilians total within ████████ went missing prior to and during RPC-315's capture. They are assumed to have been terminated by RPC-315-A. When RPC-315-A was finally contained, 6 Authority operatives were KIA, 4 cases due to immediate cardiac arrest upon contact with RPC-315-A. The remaining deaths were a result of disembowelment. RPC-315-A was apparently incapacitated by some unknown force according to the remaining on-scene operatives. Any evidence regarding the incident was seized by on-site personnel. After the initial containment of RPC-315-A, RPC-315-B was soon discovered to be in the possession of CSD-9946, formerly PoI-2300 and later recovered by nearby Authority operatives. After RPC-315-A's relocation to their containment chamber, their anomalous properties were demonstrated upon the nearest operative at the time, who had their skeletal structure removed for a half second duration. Counseling was provided shortly thereafter to affected individuals.
Combing of the forest yielded no further results.
CSD-9946 was immediately detained by remaining forces and sent to Site-███ for interrogation. Below are the subsequent interview logs taken during initial apprehension of CSD-9946 and RPC-315-A.
Interviewer: Researcher █████
Interviewee: CSD-9946
Foreword: Researcher █████ was instructed to extract information from CSD-9946 regarding the incident involving RPC-315.
[BEGIN LOG]
Researcher █████: So, ████. It says here that you were in possession of RPC-315-B. How did you come to possess it?
CSD-9946: If this RPC—whatsit is referring to the pot of gold that I found, you better give it back. That's MY pot of gold, I found that thing first!
Researcher █████: Mr. ████████, that pot of gold belonged to a reality-altering entity capable of hollowing the internals of a human with a snap of its finger, and you stole it. A lot of people like to believe that you were invariably responsible for the deaths of 18 good men, and probably many others. I don't think you're in a position to start making demands.
CSD-9946: Those deaths aren't even my damn fault. You guys are the ones who walked up to a leprechaun without any worries and got yourselves killed, so don't be pinning those twats deaths on my head. In fact, I'd say I saved you. I know about how that thing suddenly fell over on its knees and started begging for dear mercy. I ain't stupid. So I'd really appreciate it if you could let me and my pot of gold out of this tin can of a facility.
Researcher █████: How did you come into contact with the pot of gold.
CSD-9946: Hey. You've horse shit in your ears? I said let—
Researcher █████: I'm not letting you go until you answer my question.
CSD-9946: [Sighs] Alright. You're gonna let me go if I tell you, right?
Researcher ████████: Yes.
CSD-9946: Truth is, there's a rumor that's been around ████████ since forever. Obviously, you know what it has to do with. ████████ isn't any more unique than any other town I've been to, but I guess it might have more than its fair share of old loonies.
Researcher ████████: How long has this rumor persisted?
CSD-9946: Hell if I know. Only time I heard it was from some lunatic granny nobody ever talked to, and I only heard it because she happened to stumble into the loo at the pub, ranting about some hellish green sprite she'd seen kidnapping people. She kicked the bucket a day after though.
Researcher ████████: I see.
CSD-9946: Those green midgets of yore ain't supposed to exist, you know that right? I mean, hell, the most fantastic thing to ever happen to me before all this was a late night with the prettiest blonde bird I ever seen. Well I found out the hard way, or easy way depending on how you look it.
Researcher █████: I understand.
CSD-9946: One drunken night at the pub I couldn't remember the date of for the life of me, me and a friend made a bet. See if we could find something in the woods like that granny was ranting about. Of course, I accepted the challenge. It wasn't really much of a challenge though, since all I did was take some leisurely stroll through the woods like I normally would. It was nice enough to air the buzz out of my head after a day's work. But [Pause]
Researcher █████: But what?
CSD-9946: My friend didn't show up at the pub no more. He just up and disappeared. Normally I'd call the bet my win and go about my day, but he wasn't the type of man to skip out on a game night. So I went out there again, but later'n usual. I wandered around like a dumb fella would with a flash light and, well, the thing you confiscated from me.
Researcher █████: We couldn't exactly let you keep it within the facility.
CSD-9946: Yeah, yeah, whatever keeps your panties from twisting. Anyway, I stumbled around in the darkness for a while. I thought my luck ran out, and that bloke was gone for good, until I saw something weird sticking out of the ground.
Researcher █████: And what was that?
CSD-9946: A bunch of severed hands all lined up pretty-like. It was like one of those garden paths, but the rocks were human hands for Christ's sake. I mean, who in fuck's name does something like that? You either gotta have the biggest hole in your brain anyone's ever seen, or whatever did it wasn't human. And judging by the fact I'm not at the pub with a pint of Heineken in my hand, it was the latter.
Researcher █████: Did you recognize any of them?
CSD-9946: 'Course not, how could I recognize anyone by just their hands? Silence Well, actually, I thought I saw one of them hands with one of those big moles on them, just like that granny, but I'm not too sure. It was a mess enough just seein' hands sprouting out of the ground like tree stumps.
Researcher █████: I see.
CSD-9946: Now that I think about it, I think that trail of hands was like that law they do in the middle east, know what I mean?
Researcher █████: Perhaps. Now, continue with your account.
CSD-9946: Right, right. After seeing them, those Hollywood horror flicks came to mind, y'know? Any man in his right mind should just run on the spot. Me? Well I'm a right courageous hero, aren't I? I'm still alive right now after all. Anyway, after following along, there was just some hole in the ground with the most suspicious tarp covering it I've ever seen. It was like something out of a cartoon. Then there was a wooden sign nearby but I couldn't understand what it said. So, as if expecting myself to explode or get murdered right then and there, I lifted the tarp. Wanna know what was inside?
Researcher █████: I think I can guess.
CSD-9946: Well, it was a giant fucking copper pot of gold. Just full a golden shit, and not just coins either. Heavy as, but it was like a fire was ignited in my loins. It was like I needed that gold, but I feel like any man worth his stones would feel that. Everything after that's a blur, but I somehow managed to pull it out of that hole and back into town.
Researcher █████: What did you do when you had it?
CSD-9946: Oh nothing much. Maybe a few whores and beers then I should've bought, but there's never enough of those these days.
Researcher █████: I appreciate your cooperation, Mr. ████████.
CSD-9946: Uh huh. Am I allowed to leave now? I think I deserve my pot back, too. Found that thing fair and square.
Researcher █████: Well, I must apologize for your inconvenience but we cannot allow that. For now, Mr. ████████, that will be all.
CSD-9946: Hey uh, you're gonna let me go, right? Oi, come back here! That's mine, you hear?! Goddamnit you can't just leave me in here I have my rights, you damn ingrates!
[END LOG]
Conclusion: Following the termination of the interview, PoI-2300 was later formally inducted as a CSD personnel with their identification stripped due to their significant lack of social standing, and their apparent experience with RPC-315-A proving a possible benefit to the Authority and its attempts to more efficiently contain RPC-315.
Interviewer: Dr. Raymond
Interviewee: RPC-315-A
Foreword: RPC-315-A is to be interviewed about its properties and its origins. Due to previous attempts to escape containment and acts of hostility towards Authority personnel, RPC-315-A is to be interviewed through a speaker placed in its room prior to the interview.
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Raymond: Hello RPC-315-A. We are here to—
RPC-315-A: My name's Ely.
Dr. Raymond: Uh, ok. Ely. Well, do you know why you're here?
RPC-315-A: I'm here because some drunken troublemaker tried to steal my goddamned pot a gold.
Dr. Raymond: Not entirely. Some of it has to do with the fact you killed 18 of our men.
RPC-315-A: Oh now that's a whole lotta dog shit, you lot were trying to steal my gold, just like that fat fuck, he did. A good and righteous man protects his property, and I'd say I did just that.
Dr. Raymond: We heard otherwise. About twenty people went missing in the nearby village, and they weren't involved with this little incident at all. I think we can all assume that was you?
RPC-315-A: You sound like every one-note, goody-two-shoes, stir-fried nitwit out there. And an American to boot. You say that to everyone who stands their ground like an upstanding citizen?
Dr. Raymond: I think we can take that as a yes. So, Ely, where do you come from exactly?
RPC-315-A: Why should I tell you that?
Dr. Raymond: Because we have your gold, Ely. I suggest you answer my question before something unfortunate happens to that pot.
RPC-315-A: If you so much as think of touching my gold, and I'll stick my foot so far up your arse it comes out the other end, and I won't need no supernatural, world changing powers to do that much.
Dr. Raymond: Do your abilities come from that pot of gold?
RPC-315-A: Want me to demonstrate? I make it so you feel all good and warm inside.
Dr. Raymond: You know what will happen if you do. But I think that'll be enough for today Ely. Thank you for your time.
RPC-315-A: Yeah and introduce me to your mother too. She like [EXPLETIVE] by any chance?
[END LOG]
Conclusion: RPC-315-B is to be assumed the source of RPC-315-A's anomalous properties. For the time being, RPC-315-B should be kept as far away from RPC-315-A as possible.
Interviewer: Dr. Raymond
Interviewee: RPC-315-A
Foreword: Following the events of Interview Log-315-02, several interviews were conducted afterward. Interviews 03 - 05 yielded insufficient data. As such, more stringent methods were applied in later interviews in order to incentivize a willingness to cooperate within RPC-315-A. Below is the latest conducted interview.
Dr. Raymond: Hello again, 315-A.
RPC-315-A: Your nana can take it.
Dr. Raymond: Awfully irritable today.
RPC-315-A: Gimme another one a' those and you'll be seein' brown for the rest of your miserably short life.
Dr. Raymond: Duly noted.
RPC-315-A: How's about you take notes on these golden balls of mine instead you piss stain?
Dr. Raymond: Are you done?
RPC-315-A: I'll be done when I see your mother bent over this here table and-
Dr. Raymond: Do it.
RPC-315-A: [Screams]
(Several seconds pass.)
Dr. Raymond: Stop.
RPC-315-A: [Gasps]
Dr. Raymond: Are you more willing to cooperate now?
RPC-315-A: [Spits] Knob head.
Dr. Raymond: This is going nowhere.
RPC-315-A: Yeah? Well hurt me again. Hurt me. I [EXPLETIVE] love it.
Dr. Raymond: Where do you come from?
RPC-315-A: Your mother's house.
(Dr. Raymond gestures to the surveillance camera.)
RPC-315-A: [Screams]
(Dr. Raymond gestures again.)
Dr. Raymond: Are there anymore like you?
RPC-315-A: How many of me do you think it'd take to screw your wife?
(Dr. Raymond gestures to the camera once more.)
RPC-315-A: [Grunts] That was rhetorical, obviously!
(Thirty seconds pass.)
Dr. Raymond: Enough.
RPC-315-A: [Gasps]
Dr. Raymond: Well?
RPC-315-A: [Laughs] Given up already?
Dr. Raymond: Terminate the examination.
RPC-315-A: Looks like ████'s turned belly up.
Dr. Raymond: 315-
RPC-315-A: It's Ely, four-eyes.
Dr. Raymond: We'll be increasing the frequency and intensity of the treatment from now on until you're ready to give us what we want.
RPC-315-A: Well, well, well. If you wanted a bit of the bellend, you're shite out of luck. This one's reserved for your children, and all your grandchildren and great-grandchildren forever after! [Laughs]
[END LOG]
Conclusion: No additional information was acquired from the interview, nor any conducted discussions afterward. Despite the treatment of RPC-315-B, RPC-315-A remains silent regarding their origins. Further testing required.
Addendum: On 13/02/20██ at 20:12:33, all surveillance cameras observing RPC-315-A and CSD-9946 were disabled for several minutes, with the exception of of audio recording equipment. At 20:13:05, RPC-315-A's voice was first heard conversing with CSD-9946. The following is the audio recorded.
CSD-9946: W-what? Are you that mangy leprechaun?
RPC-315-A: The one and only.
CSD-9946: You didn't come just to stomp me into a pulp, did you?
RPC-315-A: I couldn't care less about your transgression against me. In fact, I appreciate it. Thanks to you, this lucky leprechaun's learned a couple o' lessons. Just for that, I wanna give you a wish.
CSD-9946: A wish? The hell do you take me for? One of those fat American tourists? You can forget it.
RPC-315-A: Don't you want a way out?
CSD-9946: [Snickers] A way out? You wouldn’t even let me lick your shoe, would you?
RPC-315-A: You found me pot o' gold, that means you deserve something for your efforts, wouldn't you say?
CSD-9946: Really?
RPC-315-A: Really, really. Don't you think what you've been going through's a tad unfair? Unlucky even?
CSD-9946: And what about all those people you killed?
RPC-315-A: Killed? You think a little lad like me could do that? You trust these people, who imprisoned you and took away everything you've ever cherished? You're a dumber donkey than me if you think you can put a lick of gold on these soulless bastard's words.
CSD-9946: I guess.
RPC-315-A: So. What do you say chief? Wanna be the big enchilada for once? Wanna make a wish?
Following the termination of their conversation, all surveillance cameras resumed operation. RPC-315-A seemingly remained within containment. However, CSD-9946 had been in the process of convulsing as surveillance resumed, exhibiting abnormal muscular spasms continuously for approximately 2 minutes. After the spasms had ended, CSD-9946 collapsed and appeared unconscious. After 2 more minutes had elapsed, their body resumed convulsions, albeit much more violently. CSD-9946’s musculature then expanded rapidly with their clothing and skin ripping, exposing the vast majority of their muscular system.
As the convulsions ended, CSD-9946’s height and weight had increased by roughly three times their original measures. CSD-9946 proceeded to rip the door to their chamber off its hinges, assaulting and terminating the nearest ASF personnel. On-site personnel were forced to terminate CSD-9946 after suffering three casualties as a result of CSD-9946's enhanced musculature.
RPC-315 was immediately questioned after the incident upon the subject of its interaction with CSD-9946 and why it occurred.
RPC-315: What do you think? That fat arse took me gold. It looked like he wanted a way out, so I gave him one. Course, he wasn't getting freedom, he was getting a bullet to the skull from you guys. I didn't even have to touch him to dish out his just desserts. I've seen what you dolts-in-white do. Us sadistic fucks gotta stick together, know what I mean? [Laughs]
It is unknown how RPC-315-A was able to communicate with CSD-9946 without escaping containment, and if it did, how it was able to exert its influence outside of its cell without being physically present. Further investigation is currently ongoing.
