Image located inside RPC-535's front cover


Registered Phenomena Code: 535

Object Class: Alpha-Yellow

Hazard Types: Info-hazard

Containment Protocols: Preparation of RPC-535’s recipes are to be prepared only by autonomous robots, never done outside of testing. In the event that a subject becomes affected by RPC-535, they are to be placed under critical medical care.

Foodstuffs created with RPC-535’s instructions are to be held in non-anomalous cold storage.

Description: RPC-535 designates a cookbook entitled "Stu Heman's Guide For Cooking- Yourself!" The book consists of a hard cover and one-hundred thirty seven(137) pages and details eighty-nine(89) different recipes. A handwritten inscription reading "from Mummy, with love" is present on the inside of the front cover.

Each recipe calls for at least one portion of the human body to be used with it. When a human subject begins to prepare any of RPC-535’s recipes, they will eventually reach instructions that they mutilate themselves for the sake of the recipe.

Judging by all known cases of humans interacting with RPC-535, exposure will inevitably lead to forceful self-mutilation by way of amputation in order to add the severed body part(s) to the dish as ingredient(s). Subjects do not report experiencing pain while engaging with the RPC-535 recipe preparation. However, injuries sustained in the course of preparing a recipe are persistent and human subjects will perish if their wounds are severe enough or go untreated.

Recipe Recipe Description Excerpt Notes
"Hay Frosting" If sneezing gets you down, use this recipe to bring those seasonal blues away for good! Nasal, cochlear, and esophageal tissue will produce copious amounts of mucus, often impairing the subjects trachea, vision, and hearing.
"Finger Sandwiches" Take only two, if you can help it~ Subjects will amputate several fingers, removing the bones and discarding the flesh. Following this, they will attempt to powderize the bone and add it to the recipe.
"Three Size Cake" Some people say they like to prepare this one while family gather around to watch and be together for Holiday. Subjects' cardiac tissue will begin expanding, up to three times its original size. Following this expansion, subjects will pick off skin covering it, and peel off cardiac tissue to use in the recipe.
"Death By Chocolate" Is it the chocolate that kills us, or is it all the other stuff around the chocolate? The subjects' stomach will begin to fill with materials commonly found in chocolates, such as cocoa, grains, and milk. The stomach will swell to three times its normal size, but will not burst. Subjects will continually vomit excess substance, with the matter remaining in their stomach keeping their life sustained.
"Eye Scream" Eek! You won't be able to get enough of this one! Causes additional eye stalks to grow out of the subjects' retinas, and grow additional eyes at the end of these stalks. This results in creating a continual chain of eyeballs. Subjects will pull them out of their body, and add said chain of eyeballs to the recipe. Quality of eyes does not diminish with repeated copies, the possibility of farming RPC-535 for farming ocular tissue is under consideration. Denied. -Office of Ethics & Review.

Once they have finished their preparations, or can no longer physically continue following the RPC-535 recipe, the subject will declare that they have finished cooking, and attempt to serve the meal to any other subject they can perceive. RPC-535 was recovered from a residential home in Calgary, Canada, after reports of its anomalous effect reached agents embedded in the local police department. The homeowner, P████ ████, is believed to have prepared her family as a Canadian Thanksgiving dinner. She was taken into custody without incident.

Addendum: This note can be found on RPC-535’s back cover.

Hope this finally helps you make something of yourself.


« RPC-534 | RPC-535 | RPC-536 »

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License