The Prettiest Girl in All The Land
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Registered Phenomena Code: 692
Containment Rating: Beta
Lethality Rating: White |
 Aggression |
 Ballistic |
 Climatological |
 Geological |
 Grouped |
 Invisibility |
 Psychotronic |
 Sapient |
 Sentient |
 Transmutation |
 Bio-Hazard |
 Contact |
 Corrosive |
 Electromagnetic Force |
 Explosive |
 Extreme Temperature |
 Radiation |
 Toxic |
 Destabilization |
 Extra-Dimensional |
 Gravitational |
 Teleportation |
 Temporal |
 Auditory |
 Emotional |
 Ideological |
 Info-Hazard |
 Memory Alteration |
 Mind-Control |
 Mind-Regression |
 Sensory |
 Visual |
 Animated |
 Aquatic |
 Digital |
 Ecological |
 Extra-Terrestrial |
 Immeasurable |
 Incorporeal |
 Mechanical |
 Microscopic |
 Organic |
 Regenerative |
 Titanic |
 Tychokinetic |
 Replicating |
 Newtonian |
 Ontological |
 Divine |
 Hallucinogen |
High Velocity |
 Proto-Mechanical |
 Proto-Newtonian |
 Proto-Sapient |
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RPC-692 shortly before containment.
Containment Protocols: RPC-692 is contained at Site-026 within a 10 × 10 × 3 m standard humanoid containment chamber. Any requests for items are to be approved by at least Level 3 personnel and are to be within reasonable access.
RPC-692 is to be dermatoscopically examined for man-made products built from plastic and similarly economical materials. Provisioned dinnerware must be made of metal or porcelain.
RPC-692 is allowed to freely roam the facility, with at least two "knights" to accompany it at all times to prevent it from entering restricted areas. The subject is to be regularly interacted with at timely intervals.
Description: RPC-692 is a humanoid entity, appearing as an adult female of European descent and measuring 165 cm in height with a slim build. The entity claims to be of royal descent, though the M█████ dynasty it supposedly originates from does not exist in historical records. Despite requiring sustenance, the subject has not been observed to excrete waste materials through urination or defecation. If it has the capability to do so is unknown.
RPC-692’s sebaceous glands produce a scented oil upon acknowledgement from another human being. Recorded scents include lilacs, lavender, roses, whipped vanilla and honey.
RPC-692 is capable of raising the endorphin level of any sapient being within a 15m radius. Verbal harmonies produced by RPC-692 display an attractive memetic effect; any sentient being within close proximity will invariably reciprocate and harmonize with the subject.
The entity is capable of basic organizational problem-solving and self-sustainment. However, despite showing higher cognition, RPC-692 does not appear to understand socially negative concepts. When approached, RPC-692 will greet any nearby sapient being and express desire to assist them with any task the subject may specify.
Upon interaction with anything containing polyester, nylon, acrylic, or elastane, RPC-692’s skin will burst out into a rash upon immediate contact. See Incident 692-Mayflower in Addendum IV.
Addendum I: Discovery
RPC-692 was found wandering around a western European forest near the town of ███ during a heavy rainstorm (██/██/20██); upon approach the subject immediately accepted being taken into custody. The entity explained to site personnel that it used to live in a castle in the country of M█████ before being instantaneously transported through a hole in a tree.
Further surveying into the forest where the subject was found, an abnormally large hole in a quercus robur specimen was discovered, theorized to be where RPC-692 came from. The tree, dubbed RPC-692-1, has since been barred off from public view.
Addendum II: First Interview
Dr. Edith Falin interviews RPC-692 for the first time, roughly █ hours after RPC-692 was captured by the Authority.
<Begin Log, 16:20 PM, 04/05/20██>
Falin: Do you have a name? Where are you from exactly?
RPC-692: My name is Princess S█████ of M█████! Well, I was going to be a princess before my stepmother pushed me into a hole.. and now I’m here!
Falin: I see. Can you recall anything before you came here?
RPC-692: Why, yes I can! I can indeed! I was with my little friends in the castle when all of a sudden I was approached by my stepmother! I used to think she was such a nice lady!
Falin: …Your little friends? Could you please elaborate on that?
RPC-692: [Claps hands] My little animal friends! They’re all so kind, they helped me with all of my chores back at home! Though doing it by myself isn’t too much of a hassle either! [Laughs]
Falin: Duly noted. And now, the second part; Who is your stepmother?
RPC-692: [Twirls a strand of hair around its finger] Oh, my stepmother? She's the queen of M█████, she married my father not too long ago! She used to be so sweet until recently…
Falin: "Until recently"? Can you explain?
RPC-692: Of course! As my father always said, vagueness is the devil pulling your tongue! According to long held tradition, the queen would have to give her throne up to her daughter once she marries a handsome prince. It's so romantic, is it not?
Falin: I suppose so. Continue.
RPC-692: I guess my dear stepmother didn't like that rule very much, as that meant she would no longer be the queen! So when I went for a walk in the woods, I was approached by her who wanted to join me! I thought she was busy with her duties but I could be wrong-
Falin: Can we get to the point, please?
RPC-692: Weeell… she led me to this big hole in the trunk of a tree! It was so big I couldn't see the clouds from underneath! Mother told me to look deep into it, and..
Falin: And?
RPC-692: Here I am! It's a really funny way to meet some new friends!
Falin: The Authority is not your "friend."
RPC-692: I'm patient! [Smiles]
Dr. Falin can be seen jotting something down in her notebook, while RPC-692 watches patiently.
Falin: I suppose you aren’t familiar with ████, right? You look like you jumped out of a ████ movie. To describe them, they’re like moving picture books on a screen.
RPC-692 reacts with minor confusion before laughing.
RPC-692: I would love to see one of your ████ movies sometime! Can I put that on the list? If you don’t mind, of course!
Falin: I will add that to the page. I’ll let you know if it gets approved. For now, you can return to your chamber.
RPC-692: Oh, thank you very much! I’m so glad we’re friends! I won't dilly-dally, Mrs. Falin! [Laughs]
<End Log>
Closing Statement: RPC-692 was safely returned to its cell without issue. As much as I want to say that the subject suffers from severe delirium, I have seen a lot stranger in my time of working here. —Dr. Falin
Addendum III: Item Request List
Listed below are a few items that were requested by RPC-692 over the course of a week.
Item Request #4: Paint supplies and an easel
Status: Approved
Item Description: A palette of gouache paints with canvas and easel included. Subject proceeded to paint an “interpretive” image of M█████ within a few hours.
Item Request #10: Three bluebirds and four house mice
Status: Denied
Reason: “Any requests to keep live non-anomalous animals in the facility are to be denied.” —Director █████
Item Request #22: Vanity mirror
Status: Approved
Item Description: A medium-sized vintage vanity mirror. No change in subject behavior noted.
Item Request #26: Sewing kit and accompanying supplies
Status: Approved
Item Description: An unbranded vintage sewing machine with a selection of delicate fabrics. Originally requested by RPC-692 after Incident 692-Mayflower.
Item Request #35: One pony
Status: Denied
Reason: See Request #10.
Item Request #36: One hug
Status: Approved
Item Description: Researcher Hawkins went in and gave RPC-692 a hug. Reports of heightened mood and overall better work output from Hawkins noted.
Addendum IV: Incident 692-Mayflower
█ week(s) after containment, RPC-692 requested a dress; the item, supplied by Junior Researcher Eisner, contained plastic microfibers, which were not known to harm RPC-692 at the time. The interview below is a conversation between Dr. Edith Falin and RPC-692, three days after Incident 692-Mayflower.
The dress that resulted in Incident 692-Mayflower, shortly after confiscation.
<Begin Log, 8:55 AM, 01/29/20██>
Falin: RPC-692, are you there? Are you awake?
RPC-692 opens its eyes, looking to Falin as it lays in bed. The subject's body is covered up to the neck in red, blistered skin. RPC-692's epidermis is scaling at various contact points. Wrists and finger joints appear swelled up.
RPC-692: Mrs. Falin? I’m so happy to see you! I knew you would be here for me!
Falin: Of course. Do you feel any pain?
RPC-692: What is pain?
Falin: Pain is an unpleasant sensation that usually correlates to injury or disease. To put it in more familiar terms for you, assumedly, eating a poisoned apple and experiencing the side effects is painful.
RPC-692: That sounds horrible! I wouldn't want that to happen to me! A poisoned apple would be far, far too bitter for a pie!
Falin: That is irrelevant. You suffered a severe seizure earlier from a dress that contained plastic microfibers. Apparently they cause a sudden allergic reaction upon touch. I'm surprised that you're still composed despite your current state.
RPC-692: Whatever do you mean? I'm fine!
Falin: [Remains quiet before jotting down some notes] If you say that you are fine, then so be it. I'll check on you again in a few hours, for now, stay in bed and rest.
RPC-692: Okay, thank you! I'm so happy that we're friends!
RPC-692 would fully recover from its injuries 10 hours after, eventually requesting to be able to sew its own clothes after Incident 692-Mayflower. Containment Protocols have since been updated.
<End Log>
Log of Event 692-072: Request approved for cross-testing experiment between RPC-692 and RPC-072 due to a found connection in auditory memetics. Dr. Baxter and Researcher Churchill observing.
13:01 PM: First exposure. RPC-692 stands in front of RPC-072’s locker and is asked to open it. RPC-692 does so without issue.
13:06 PM: RPC-692 begins to dance and appears to sing, as corroborated by spectrogram analysis.
13:09 PM: RPC-692 is seen laughing and dancing around the containment chamber. RPC-072 pulses to the sound of RPC-692’s voice.
13:11 PM: RPC-692 leaves the chamber, describing the experience as "serendipitously wonderful” and that it would “love to do it again.”
RPC-692 appears to be immune to the memetic properties of RPC-072. Cross-testing with other RPC objects to be approved before full-scale testing, due to the cost of bringing RPC-692 to Site-064 for the experiment, all future cross-RPC tests are to be within range of Site-026 unless stated otherwise.
(+) Access "Continued Cross-RPC Testing for RPC-692"
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