RPC-773 - RPC Authority

RPC-773

Lil' Ms.Amazing!

Registered Phenomena Code: 773

Containment Rating: Omega

Lethality Rating: Orange

Sapient

Transmutation

Extra-Dimensional

Teleportation

Organic

Regenerative

Containment Protocols:

At the time of this document's publication, RPC-773 remains uncontained. Due to its evasiveness, ongoing containment efforts have been diverted into intercepting and censoring all publicity featuring RPC-773 and its respective products. Any sightings of RPC-773 are to be documented, and Authority agents are to be dispatched. Potential witnesses are to be amnesticized, and appropriate cover stories are to be implemented. All Amazing! Co. products manifested by RPC-773 are to be transferred to Site-016 for storage.

Description:

Promotional poster depicting RPC-773. Recovered 07/11/1982

RPC-773 is an anomalous, artificial, feminine humanoid believed to have been created by Amazing! Co. operating under the moniker "Lil' Ms.Amazing!"¹ RPC-773 most commonly appears as a clown, in bright, exaggerated articles of clothing befitting the company of its namesake. However, it has been shown to adopt various outfits, often to better comply with the theme of the products it manifests.

RPC-773 is capable of manifesting any product within Amazing! Co.'s catalogue by poorly understood, extra-dimensional means. Manifestations thus far have occurred after RPC-773 has performed a gesture.² Products manifested are chosen by what RPC-773 perceives as fulfilling the needs of a potential customer, and has shown persistence in persuading subjects to purchase and engage with the product.

The prices of products vary drastically and are often arbitrary. RPC-773 is capable of accepting either physical or electronic tender.³ RPC-773 doesn't grasp the concept of the monetary value of its products, rather showing greater interest in customer engagement and expanding the Amazing! Co brand.

The exterior epidermis of RPC-773 is comprised of semi-elastic material. A dark liquid with a similar viscosity to blood has been observed leaking from RPC-773's orifices. It is currently hypothesized that this fluid, in some capacity, contributes to RPC-773's autonomy.

These attributes have been observed working in tandem to give RPC-773 extremely flexible and regenerative properties. RPC-773 uses these abilities in its demonstration of Amazing! Co. products, to convey their quality through exaggerated movements and performances, which tend to result in breakage of its epidermis and internal structure.

If a subject(s) is persistent in showing little interest or rejects the initial product RPC-773 offers, RPC-773 will try to provide additional offers⁴ or replace the previous product with another to accommodate its new perception of the subject's needs. Subsequent product(s) tend to be more unstable and show a higher potential for lethality however, this isn't always the case, as the offers of products RPC-773 will rotate through varies on an individual basis.

If RPC-773 fails to convince subject(s) to purchase a product from a series of offers⁵ RPC-773 will seek out other potential customers and manifest doorways branded with an abbreviated Amazing! Co. logo. Once RPC-773 enters through one of these manifestations, the door will proceed to rapidly dematerialize.

Discovery:

Prior to 04/01/2026, RPC-773 was believed to have been a non-anomalous caricature that would infrequently appear in Amazing! Co's catalogues and advertisements. Archival records suggest that RPC-773 has existed at least since the early 20th century. Although the available information on RPC-773's history is spotty, with several long gaps of unaccounted-for time.

On 04/01/2026, RPC-773 manifested within Site-305 and was swiftly intercepted by ASF personnel. During this encounter, RPC-773 displayed its anomalous prosperity by manifesting several colorful plastic firearms and attempting to sell them to ASF personnel. RPC-773 was detained and temporarily held for interrogation.

Interview 04/01/26

Foreword: After its detainment, Dr. Cindia Santoso and Agent Jeremiah Lopez were tasked with interviewing RPC-773. The following transcript was taken from Site-305's security feed.

«Begin Transcript»

[Dr. Santoso and Agent Lopez enter the interrogation room. RPC-773's wrist has been restrained, sitting with its hands folded on the table. Agent Lopez sneezes, drawing RPC-773's attention to him.]

RPC-773: My oh my, sounds like ya got quite the nasty allergies!

[RPC-773 twirls its right hand, manifesting a package of allergy relief medicine with the Amazing! Co. logo printed onto it.]

RPC-773: Luckily for you, we at Amazing! Co. have just the thing ya need! Amazing! Co. fast-acting sniffles and sneezes relief! A surefire way to burn away those nasty allergies!

[Agent Lopez and Dr. Santoso exchange hesitant glances.]

Agent Lopez: No thanks, I'm quite alright.

RPC-773: Are ya sure? We’re running a special deal: Buy one, get one free!

Agent Lopez: No, I'm not interested.

Dr. Santoso: I thought they said they had her detained.

[RPC-773 clasp its hands together, with the cough medicine dematerializing, and begins to twirl its index fingers around one another.]

RPC-773: If it's locking something down from going loosey-goosey, Amazing! Co. has got ya covered!

RPC-773 ceases twirling its fingers and clenches them tightly together. Chains of various colors bind around RPC-773.

RPC-773: With these tremendous tethers produced by Amazing! Co., no slippery snake will squirm its way out of these!

Dr. Santoso: Uh, I don't-, um that won't be necessary.

[Dr. Santoso cautiously pulls the seat out from across from RPC-773, whilst Agent Lopez moves to the corner of the room]

RPC-773: Ah, I see. Ya both seem awfully nervous!

[RPC-773 snaps its fingers, with the chains deflating and compacting themselves into RPC-773's pockets]

RPC-773: Maybe you'd be interested in some-

Dr. Santoso: Uh, well, you see, Mr. Lopez and I are indeed interested in your um, presence and would like to ask a couple of questions.

RPC-773: Oh. well Absolutely! We at Amazing! Co. pride ourselves on providing amazing customer service!

[Dr. Santoso nervously laughs and sits, clearing her throat as she prepares to take notes.]

Dr. Santoso: Well, that's just, uh, great! So why did you decide to just appear here of all places?

RPC-773: Oh, I've heard lots of stuff about ya Authority fellas. You're some of our most loyal customers! When the bosses gave me this job oh, I was smiling beam to beam!

Agent Lopez: "Bosses"?

RPC-773: Ya! They call for me when they need something done for the advertising, and I help spread the wonders of Amazing! Co. wherever they need be!

[RPC-773 cups its cheeks with its hands]

RPC-773: Oh, they're just the greatest! How could they not be when they've made something so amazing!

Dr. Santoso: So you've met with the people behind Amazing! Co.'s operations?

Agent Lopez: Do you have direct contact with them now?

[RPC-773 holds its chin with its left hand.]

RPC-773: Mmm. Well, the bosses only call for me when my quotas are met, maybe if you help me, I could help ya in return!

Agent Lopez: Help by just giving you money?

RPC-773: By putting something a little amazing in your lives!

[RPC-773 raises its arms over its head and makes a wide arching motion, breaking its wrist and restraints.]

[Dr. Santoso stands, dropping her notepad. Agent Lopez draws his sidearm.]

RPC-773: Going back to that offer earlier, maybe you folks would be interested in a stress buddy!

[The fracture at RPC-773's wrist heals as it reaches into its pocket. Dr. Santoso turns and reaches her hand out towards Agent Lopez]

Dr. Santoso: Wait, Jeremiah-

[Agent Lopez opens fire on RPC-773. Dr.Santoso recoils into the fetal position. RPC-773 remains unfazed, regenerating the areas where it was shot. RPC-773 proceeds to manifest several instances of RPC-013⁶

[Dr.Santoso activates the panic button located below the interview table.]

RPC-773: We have all kinds of buddies in stock, so pick your fancy!

[The interrogation door swings open as two ASF operatives enter. RPC-773's eyes dart side to side.]

RPC-773: Hmm. Maybe you're looking for something else!

[RPC-773 stuffs the RPC-013 instances back into its pocket. A red door branded with an abbreviated "Amazing!" Co. logo manifest behind RPC-773. The door opens to an empty void]

RPC-773: Well, no worries! I'm sure Amazing! Co. will have something to put beaming smiles on those faces of yours!

[ASF Operatives begin to move in to restain RPC-773.]

[RPC-773 leans back in its chair and falls through the door. After it passes through completely, the door shuts and dematerializes.]

«End of Transcript»

Closing Statement: Due to his abrasive actions taken towards the anomaly, Agent Lopez was reprimanded and demoted. Following this incident, all Authority sites were instructed to stay on high alert for potential RPC-773 manifestations.

RPC-773 Event Log

Following the 04/01/2026 incident, the Authority began actively tracking RPC-773's manifestations.

Below are notable events documenting additional RPC-773 manifestations during 2026.

Incident No. 773-01-2026

Date of Occurrence: 04/08/2026

Location: Moon, 1.2 km southwest of Site-019

Event Description: Site-019 reported seeing RPC-773 on the surface of the moon, staring at its wrist in a similar manner to someone checking their watch.

After 3 minutes, UE-Alpha-031⁷ along with its vendor stand manifests 3 meters away from RPC-773.

RPC-773 turns to wave at UE-Alpha-031, then points to the beverages on the table, before collapsing to its knees and beginning to make several exaggerated begging motions.

UE-Alpha-031 appeared to grow increasingly irritated by RPC-773's actions over the course of 5 minutes. UE-Alpha-031 slams its hand on the table, seeming to comply with RPC-773's pleading.

RPC-773 ceases its begging and stretches over the table to hug UE-Alpha-031. UE-Alpha-031 forcefully pushes RPC-773 off of itself and instantly dematerializes. RPC-773 falls back exaggeratedly through one of its doorways, which subsequently dematerializes.

Notes: Due to the brevity of the interaction, Site-019 was unable to dispatch a rover to make contact with RPC-773 and UE-Alpha-031. It is believed that whatever transaction transpired, it is connected to the events that occurred in Incident No. 773-02-2026.

Incident No. 773-02-2026

Date of Occurrence: 04/10/2026

Location: Site-002, Site-007, Site-016, Site-017, Site-036, Site-305

Event Description: A collective total of 42,315 8oz. paper cups filled with an unidentified yellow liquid with the Amazing! Co. logo printed on them appeared simultaneously in the cafeterias, recreational areas, and personal offices of several Authority sites.

Reviewing the security footage, every site found there to be a discrepancy by a minute before the manifestation of the instances.

Accompanying each cup was a note that read: "Cool yourselves off with a refreshing cup of Amazing! Co. Lunar Lemonade! Hope this brings a smile to your lovely faces!

P.S, I couldn't quite remember which one of your locations was the one I visited, but hopefully at least some of these will reach you!"

Chemical analysis revealed the liquid within the cups was lemon juice with a heightened concentration of citric acid. CSD testing concluded that no additional anomalous properties manifested after consumption. All instances were properly disposed of.

Notes: Site-007 implemented in the the use of RPC-125⁸ at Dr. ████ request.

The view RPC-125 displayed of Site-007's cafeteria revealed several colorful doors opening from the ceiling. Various arms with colorful articles of clothing extend from the doors, placing the cups and cards on the tables before quickly retracting into the doors and dematerializing.

Dr. ████ commented: "I think this makes for a solid case that RPC-125 is deserving of its utility classification.⁹

Incident No. 773-03-2026

Date of Occurrence: 05/07/2026

Location: Global

Event Description: Across various marketplaces, merchandise depicting RPC-773 began to appear in unprecedented mass. Merchandise was most commonly found at vendors selling unrelated, unlicensed products.

Information on how these vendors came to acquire said merchandise was inconclusive, with claims that it was supplied with the rest of their inventory.

Products included alcohol-based markers, sticker books, sugar confectionery, and stuffed dolls of RPC-773 in various
sizes.

Notes: The Authority is currently still undergoing efforts to acquire the merchandise distributed worldwide. Efforts thus far have been met with great difficulty, due to conflicts regarding jurisdiction with other agencies, as well as with some vendors lacking receipts for products they've sold to civilians.

Incident No. 773-04-2026

Date of Occurrence: 06/17/2026

Location: Chesswood, Texas

Event Description: During a sporting event, RPC-773 manifested in attire resembling a 1960s-style stadium vendor uniform.

RPC-773 was selling instances of RPC-451¹⁰ and RPC-759¹¹ to spectators for $0.53 USD, accepting both physical and electronic tender.

After it had sold out of products, RPC-773 proceeded to head to the concourse and presumably dematerialized.

After a team scored a goal, subjects that had ingested RPC-759 began to physically assault the other patrons. The resulting commotion resulted in the crowd trampling over other spectators.

Subjects who ingested RPC-451 either terminated subjects who ingested RPC-759, or accidentally self-terminated due to their enhanced abilities, resulting in 131 casualties.

Notes: Authority Agents were dispatched to amnesticize witnesses, with a cover story that placed blame for the ensuing riot on drunken spectators that expunged RPC-773 presence in the incident.

Authority web-crawlers censored all recordings featuring RPC-773 at the event. RPC-451 wrappers and RPC-759 containers were retrieved and disposed of accordingly.

Incident No. 773-05-2026

Date of Occurrence: 06/19/2026

Location: Chesswood, Texas

Event Description: RPC-773 manifested at Chesswood County Hospital in the guise of a nurse. RPC-773 entered several hospital rooms holding survivors from the 77304 incident. Plastic flowers, vouchers for a discount on any one Amazing! Co. product, and cards reading "Get well soon!" were placed on the patients' beds whilst they slept. RPC-773 dematerialized before Authority Agents could intercept it.

Notes: Care packages were confiscated by Authority Agents and sent to Site-002.

Incident No. 773-06-2026

Date of Occurrence: 06/24/2026

Location: 50 km North of the border with Venezuela, EPL Outpost.

Event Description: Members of the El Ejército Popular de Liberación (EPL)¹² came into contact with RPC-773. 27 Amazing! Co. products were purchased from RPC-773 before it dematerialized. Following this transaction, all 37 members of the EPL stationed at the outpost were terminated. Cause of termination was due to mishandling of anomalous objects. All 27 objects, as well as the cadavers of every EPL member were amalgamated into a singular inert mass, vaguely resembling a carousel.

Notes: The resulting mass was contained by the Authority and transferred to Site-008 for further analysis.

Incident No. 773-07-2026

Date of Occurrence: 07/04/2026

Location: Tahoe City, California

Event Description: During a local fireworks show, RPC-773 sold several Amazing! Co. fireworks branded as "Señor Amazing's El Bombero!" for various prices ranging from $0.03 USD, to $142.69 USD.

When the fuse was ignited, the fireworks detonated with the force of 3 tons of TNT over Lake Tahoe. RPC-773 was caught in the explosion with serious disfigurement and hemorrhaging fluids. Despite this, it managed to manifest a door beneath itself and dematerialize.

The resulting flaming debris struck spectators and ignited nearby coastal foliage. Over the course of 3 hours, local fire rescue services managed to contain the spread. The incident resulted in 328 casualties.

Notes: Similar procedures from the 06/17/2026 incident were implemented. No debris from the Amazing! Co. firework was able to be located.

Amazing! Co. Extravabition

On 07/25/2026, the Authority received the 59th issue of Amazing! Co.'s "Fantastalog!"¹³ On page 3, under the subsection titled "Lil' Ms.Amazing's Fantastalog!" was an advertisement for an exhibition at the ████████¹⁴ mall in Clay County, Florida, that read "Come one, come all! Amazing! Co. sponsored exhbition, Extravabition! Come see new rare exclusive products and our and yours favorite! Lil' Ms. 'Mazing!!! Event open to special customers on 07/28/2026!"

Amazing! Co. Fantastalog, Page 3.

MST Echo-9 ("Toy Soldiers") was dispatched to the location. Upon their arrival, the building's exterior was found to be in a dilapidated state with a banner reading "Welcome to the Extravabition!" Within the facility, haphazardly set-up vendor stands were left vacant, some so densely packed together that it made certain corridors inaccessible.

In addition, hundreds of boxes branded with the Amazing! Co. logo were crammed under and around the various stands. The contents of which were filled with merchandise with RPC-773's likeness as well as miscellaneous Amazing! Co. products.

Navigating through one of the few accessible passageways, Echo-9 were funneled into the mall's auditorium. The only items of note found within the auditorium were a red door frame fixed to the center of the stage and a box similarly branded to the other instances found, albeit in notably poorer condition. Inside were damaged dolls resembling RPC-773 as well as a coloring book titled "Color with Lil' Ms. Amazing! Colorful Adventure of Fun!"

The book itself appeared to be severely water-damaged, with several pages either being colored over or torn out completely. Archival scans of the recovered pages can be found in the attached document.

Neither RPC-773 nor any persons affiliated with Amazing! Co. were encountered. ████████ Mall was purchased by the Authority and is set for demolition on 10/03/2026. All recovered Amazing! Co. products were transported to Site-016 for storage.